Sburb: Omicron Session

==> Do as your good chum instructed you to!

After re-reading her reply around seven times to make sure you won't mess it up entirely, you do as she asks while hearing faint groans coming from your stepfather.

You are so boned.

==> Examine your alchemized item

After staring in amazement at all of the impossibly fantastic technological, demonic things that had taken place, you are left with a...strange item.

A brown, almost glossy block of wood.

==> Pester AV one more time

WO: {lulu? are you there?}
WO: {did you make it into the medium?}
WO: {oh gosh i hope so :o}
WO: {well, respond when you can.}
WO: {i'm sort of hesitant to go do anything without your advice.}
WO: {oh! i almost forgot!}
WO: {i have a book that i thought you'd like! i men, you've been going on about it!}
WO: {at least i'm pretty sure it was you :?}
WO: {oh well, like i said, get back when possible.}
WO: {BYEEEEE!!! :D}

==> Pester QC.

WO: {okay, now find a way to break it.}
WO: {i'm almost positive that that is what you need to do!!}

==>Wake up.

You wake up, but not where you thought you'd wake up. You are in a small room that is entirely purple. You look around the room. Everything looks like it hasn't ever been touched. It's like this room was never used. You climb out of the bed and look out the window. You appear to be in a tower above a planet that is also entirely purple. Where the heck are you?

==> Pester Cael

Well, first, re-attach the missing keys. But then pester Cael.
FE: no, i cannot sEE hEr(3
FE: my scrEEn is Fairly crackEd(3

==> Punch punching bag

You are already doing that! Of course, since you always punch it to correspond with your punctuation. What an odd thing to think. You throw one more mighty punch, and watch as the supporting rope snaps!

==> 2X IMPACT COMBO!

The punching bag flies across the room, narrowly missing the mysterious circle that you still have not bothered to examine (as that does not pertain to fighting!), and hits the wall with a mighty THUD! This dislodges your poster of Mike Tyson, which falls into the circle. Suddenly, the circle lets out a burst of light and, when it fades, reveals that it has taken the form of Mike Tyson! At this moment, the punching bag falls from its spot on the wall, colliding with the newly-created Tysonsprite. It too is protyped, and your sprite is now a fighter's wet dream!

==>Explore purple planet.

You are not sure how to do that. The only way out of the tower is through the window. You don't really want to jump.

==>You're smart, so think hard of a way out.

You got it! You realize that this is definitely a dream. If you are willfully doing what you want, then you must be lucid dreaming! That means that anything you can think of, you can do!

==>Fly!

You imagine yourself floating, and that is what you do. You fly out of your window, a smile on your face. That smile fades when you hear something. It sounds like... whispers. They sound urgent, and quite honestly, they scare you. Is this turning into a nightmare?

==> Reply to Lucy

QC: Wait, break it? Or like...snap it?
QC: Dammit, my stepfather's awake and he keeps telling me to be a man, and to like...
QC: Tend to the fire?
QC: I guess he's delusional? It's the effing summertime :L
QC: Shit... I'm whacking the shit out of it with my bat, but it's like...wood.
QC: The timer thing says three minutes. Three minutes until what, exactly?

==> Continue to try and break the glossy block of wood.

As you repeatedly whack it with your bat, you make note of how pathetically weak you are. Your stepfather is right. If you'd be a man and lifted weights and shit, you'd be able to smash this block of wood into bits.

==> Fall down on your face because of you sudden tremor

Your face is planted firmly and uncomfortably on the ground. You smell something that is almost metallic, and it is then that you realize you dun went and gave yourself a nose bleed.

GOOD JOB KID. You've just advanced a rung on your Echeladder! You are now "Emotism by Douchebaggery!"

You figure it makes you sound edgy.

==> Reply to Greg

You really would, you apologize silently, but you've got to tend to this terrible, terrible nosebleed. You snatch up a roll of tissue paper you found under your broken bed and hold a large wad up to your nose, while trying to remain casual about it.

You really are a Grade-A tool.

==> Realize that you don't have much time!

Why would you do that? You are having a lovely sparring match with Tysonsprite! You are much too busy with this to, say, carve your cruxite dowel and set into action a chain of events that will eventually lead to you entering the Medium, finding your true purpose in life, becoming a demigod, and creating a new universe. That would be ridiculous when you can trade punches with ghostly Mike Tyson!

==> Quickly, be the smart girl that you are.

Well, you wouldn't call yourself really smart, not Lulu smart that's for sure. You feel pity for Cael and his bloody nose.

==> Give him your condolences.

WO: {i'm sorry about your bloody nose cael.}
WO: {but your stepdaddy there had a good idea.}
WO: {burn the block.}
WO: {burrrrrrrn iiiiiiit.}

==> {burrrrrrrn iiiiiiit.}

You remove the tissue away from your face, and throw it away from yourself haphazardly. You realize that you were probably seen doing this, which is embarrassing as hell. But you remember it keeps you within your identity of being lazy and a slob when it comes to your living space.

You love being authentic.

You grab your block of wood and run to your wood stove, not noticing that your bloody tissue was somehow absorbed into your kernelsprite.

This undoubtedly would make your sprite a bloodthirsty tissue monster.

Or, more officially (as in this is what it's gonna do) an angsty tool of a guide who bares a lot of your angst and 'emotism' that can only offer you tissues. Imps just got a huge debuff, but now you've earned yourself a terrible, terrible annoyance.

Good thing though you're blissfully unaware of the complications such a stupid prototyping has involved, but at least you got the biological prototyping finished.

==> Keep being blissfully unaware of your stupidity and actually start to {burrrrrrrn iiiiiiit.}

You throw the block of wood in the wood furnace in your living room, and toss in papers and cardboard you stupidly wasted time on by meticulously tearing it up.

You find great difficulty however in lighting a lighter, however! Your weak strength coupled with your blistered fingers from ironically playing bass and guitar have really gotten you into a bind.

==> Message Lucy

After sparring with Tysonsprite, you decide to see how your friend is doing.

FE: hEllo, my Friend(3
FE: i don't know about you, but im Finding this rathEr boring(3
FE: ExcEpt For mEEting MikE Tyson, which was Fantastic, i havE vEry littlE to do(3
FE: so how arE you/(3?

==> Respond to FE

WO: {hi!}
WO: {wait, mike tyson? how'd he get into your room? :O}
WO: {well i am diong pretty good actually!}
WO: {i made it to my land, which is really weird! haha, with all these froggies runnin around :)}

==> Watch Cael {burrrrrrrn iiiiiiit.}

You giggle at your own message. You often find yourself to be highly amusing, thus why you're always giggling and laughing and smiling.
You watch Cael burn the block of wood. Hm, it sure is pretty.

==> Keep the reply chain a-going

FE: wEll, to start, i am Fond oF thE idEa that MikE Tyson is in my room duE to thE powEr oF Fists(3
FE: but what is this land that you have Found-(3?
FE: this gamE is vEry conFusing(3

==> Look at Cruxtruder

Hm. There's numbers on it. Odd. Oh well, you turn back and begin to discuss fighting matters with Tysonsprite.

==>Listen to the voices.

You are too busy freaking out to listen to the voices. You are usually pretty good about keeping your cool, but this is an exception. Someone or something is whispering to you, but the only people you see are the little people down below you. They couldn't possibly be whispering from all the way down there. You can't understand what they're saying because all you hear now is your blood roaring in your ears.

You need to wake up. You need to wake up now.

==> Continue.

WO: {well if that makes you happy then i'm happy for you too!}
WO: {hehe :)}

==>Watch a frogs hop around.

You roll your desk chair to your giant window and watch all of the frogs hop around. They varied in size from ones as long as your pinky to ones that looked like they required both hands to hold. Underneath the unsightly layer of frogs is the picturesque landscape. You wished you could paint this, it's the inspiration every artist would strive for! You sigh.

==> You know that replying thing? Do that.

FE: so, is thE wholE point oF this gamE to mEEt MikE Tyson-(3?
FE: and also, whats up with thEsE numbErs on thE "cruxtrudEr"-(3?

==> Challenge Tysonsprite to a punching contest.

You never thought you would meet a friend such as Mike Tyson. You breifly entertain the thought that you two might be soulmates. Although you feel as if this game lacks substance. There is no fighting at all!

==>Wake up!

You are trying! You can't seem to force yourself to wake up, though. Something is keeping you on this strange planet. The voices are getting louder, but you still can't figure out what they're saying. You wish you knew so you could shut them up!

==>Wake up! Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!

You wake up with a gasp. You try to sit up quickly, but you hit your head on something. You are trapped under your bookcase! You try to push it off you, but it is too heavy for you. Maybe you can get someone's attention somehow.

==>Repeatedly hit the top of the bookcase and yell.

You do that, trying to be as loud as you can. You aren't quite sure how you got under the bookcase, but you wanted out!

==> You know what to do.

WO: {well, the countdown is telling you when the meteor will hit your house and kill you.}
WO: {so you've gotta get that dowel out of the cruxtruder and carve it.}
WO: {then you alchmize the item that's on the prepunched card and figure out how to use it.}
WO: {it's really easy.}

==> Hearken back to your earlier "confused moron" phase

FE: mEtEor-(3?
FE: thErE arE mEtEors-(3?
FE: and how do i carvE anything-(3?
FE: this gamE involvEs too much thinking=(3!

==> Only Facepalm x1 Combo.

You use only one hand to facepalm. You guess Cael hasn't told him. You consider just letting Cael deal with it. Instead you ask:

WO: {what does the timer say? how much time do you have left?}

Hopefully he has an adequate amount of time left. You could, maybe, help him out, even though you and he are not even connected one way or the other. He was a friend, and a friend in need is a friend indeed. You are most certain that that is how the saying goes.

==> Go Alchemize stuff while you wait.

You go to the Alchemiter and empty out your sylladex. Time to have some fun.

==> Warm your hands by the fireplace

Crazy, right? After the whole shaking of your small mobile home and the whole feeling of being transported into another world ceased, the temperature had gotten quite cold.

You're still not changing your outfit though. That wouldn't be very authentic of you.

The temperature while still above freezing has a very...heavy atmosphere. Admittedly, you are quite confused by this. Is it the humidity?

==> Look out your window and say oh my god

Land of Melancholy and Metamorphosis:

Oh. My. God.

Suddenly, the bookshelf is lifted off of you. You look up to see... yourself? Making the bookshelf levitate with mind powers? It looks like you, but you also look somewhat like an amber-colored ghost. This is your kernelsprite! It must have gotten prototyped with that picture of you that was on your bookshelf. Does this count as self-prototyping?

Sprite Log:

==> Look at the Cruxtruder

FE: it says 2:37(3
FE: is that likE my point total-(3?

==> Waste no time.

WO: {you need to these things very quickly ok?}
WO: {get the dowe from the cruxtruder (the cylinder thingy from the cylinder metal thingy).}
WO: {use the card to carve the dowel (the card with holes in it, out it on the machine with the sharp thingies on it.)}
WO: {take that to the alchemiter and make that item (take the carved cylinder and put it on the last machine to make something).}
WO: {OK?????}

You do admire your friend Greg's strength, but sometimes you wish he didn't have episodes of idiocracy. You were genuinely concerned.

==> Go tell your friends you're in some crazy alien world

After gazing at the peculiar sky, the bright ball of light in the sky that seems like it's acting as some sort of sun that feels like it's actually cooling the place, and the peculiar long, slinky trees, that of which includes one that is holding a giant, glowing chrysalis, you feel a little amazed and scared out of your mind.

Regardless, you hop into your room to see that your father is now missing. Strange. The floating ball of feces is gone, too.

==> Pester Greg first

QC: Man
QC: Holy shit dude
QC: I got transported to some crazy world. After I used the glossy brown block that frankly looked like a fecal log on this thing with chisels (I think it was called the Chiselatorcruxoid, or some shit) it made this block of wood
QC: And like, I burned it I guess, because Lucy was really urgent about it for whatever reason.
QC: Anyway I'm in this really messed up world, and my stepfather's missing, along with the feces ball and it's a bit worrying.
QC: My house came with me also. Somehow.
QC: Regardless I think you need to make your own block of wood and burn it? I dunno. I reccommend against it, unless you want to be in a terrifying alien planet. Still don't know exactly what the Cruxtruder is counting down though, but I'm guessing it'll suck because Lucy was all urgent about her instructions.
QC: Anyway I'm totally spamming you here. I'm floating the dowel above your head currently.


As you hold the dowel in midair above your good man's head, you message Lucy.


QC: Hey so uh, I did what you said, and now I'm on an alien planet.
QC: There's a giant chrysalis and I'm sort of terrified.
QC: Seriously, what the hell is going on?
QC: I'll ask Lulu again
QC: My stepfather is gone, too. Do you see him around the house?
QC: I don't really care abdass


Your message is entered too early and with keyboard spam, for your floating ball of feces is now a white floating outline of yourself, only like...tissufied.

And there's a brown light emanating from him.

Show Spritelog:

You're pretty sure you have no clue what is happening what is going on oh god you're panicking you totally funked something up oh god oh god

oh god

==> Notice the dowel

You snatch up the flying cylinder, and proceed to go through the steps of carving it.

==> Glance at Cruxtruder

0:47

==> Alchemize artifact

You place the carved dowel in the Alchemeter, which creates your artifact...

There is nobody in any plane of existence who has not already realized that your artifact is a boxing glove.

==> Investigate strange noise

On cue with your alchemy, you hear a noise coming from above your house. You move onto the roof through use of your fire escape, and realize that Lucy was right. There is a meteor headed on a collision path with your house.

==> Cruxtruder check-up

0:18

==> Realize what you have to do

In a rare moment of clarity, you slip on your artifact and get into position. The meteor is moving closer and closer. And in the moment before it hits you...

==>Punch the meteor

Your hand's collision with the enormous space rock is like a pebble hitting a building. But it served its purpose. Your artifact cracks under the pressure of the impact, and the backlash forces you to black out.