Sburb: Omicron Session

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EggsAndToast on May 19th, 2007: yo anybody got any good games?
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MarioLuver645 on February 6th, 2009: yeah i culd use sum gud shit to.
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IndieMaster on December 26th, 2012: I heard on the down-low about this beta coming out of this cool game called "Sburb." I don't know much about it, and I gotta start my new job soon (stupid money, right?), so I'm not gonna have much time for computer anymore, but I do have a link for anybody who wants it. ww.SBURB.com

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FISTFULLYETERNITY on June 23rd, 2013: sounds absolutEly amazing=(3! what a grEat Find=(3!

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==> Slip in Disk

By Thor's fists! You watch in amazement as the disk slides in... even though you've seen it so many times before. You begin to punch the punching bag beside your computer in time with the progressively filling progress bar now on your screen. You have registered Lulu as your client and Cael as your server players... whatever those mean! Now all there is to do is wait.

==>Wait for disc to download.

You sit back in your desk chair as the download bar creeps across your laptop screen. You anxiously drum your fingers on your desk as you wait. You worry about what you read about the game causing the end of the world. You decided not to tell your chums in fear that they would worry as much as you. You hope that it isn't true.

==> Insert client disc and await  for your sever to connect

You put in your client disc first. You keep glancing over your shoulder. Your BIG BRO was always sneaking up on you and scaring you, then taking something away and taunting you with it. It was infuriating. But you couldn't stay mad for long. You loved him and he loved you. End of story.

==> Worry your pants off

What a lovely time for your low self-confidence to emerge! The "srsly"ness of this game isn't making you feel very eager to play. Did you put the right disc in? Is it all going to work properly? Should you have put in the server disc first?

Regardless, you register Greg as your client player, hoping that was the correct notion. You then remember that Lucy will be playing Minecraft with your house, so you register her as your server.

You really aren't liking how this is all going out. Such planning! Such ordering! You know one of your shenanigans will mess this up somehow.

Such worries flood through your angst-ridden mind as you hear your stepfather's footsteps thunder towards your room.

==>Connect to chum.

Your disc finally finished downloading. You rub your hands together and connect to Lucy. You see her standing in her room. You'd like to say it was a shock to you, but nothing shocks you. You're just too mysterious to be shocked.

==>Say hello.

You decide to say hello by clicking on her and accidentally scooting her chair halfway across her room. Oops.

==> Be very alarmed that your chair has moved.

You scream. How in the world did your chair- oh, Lulu connected to you. You pick up the chair and drag it back to your desk. You start to download the server disc. You'll notify Cael in a moment. You sit yourself down and pester Lulu.

==> Pester AV.

WO: {did you just move my chair?}
WO: {cuz that really freaked me out!}
WO: {i'm pretty sure my bro heard me.}

==>Answer WO.

AV: {Ssorry about that. II was trying to tap you but my hand slipped and II moved your chair.}
AV: {II'm going to start deploying things. Ddon't mind me, just connect to Ccael.}

==>Deploy devices.

You start trying to find convenient places to put the devices. The first device Lucy will need will be the Cruxtruder, so you deploy that in her room. The Totem Lathe goes in the hall and the Alchemiter goes in the room next to it. You find that you don't have enough "shale" or something to deploy the Punch Designix, so you leave it out.

==> Install Server Disc

You note that the client majigger has successfully been installed. You then pop in your server disc into your crummy laptop. The worst part about this horrible machine is that the damn battery doesn't work anymore.

You recall all of the frustrating accidental unplugs, and grimace.

==> Take a moment admire your terrible room

On your wall is a poster of a girl in a bikini. You never even really wanted it, but you figured you should hang it up to show your stepfather how manly you were. Even if she wasn't all that attractive, in your idealist opinion.

There's a lot of stains on your eggshell-white walls as well. You have no idea what exactly they're from, and to be perfectly honest, you don't give a damn. You remark how awfully dirty your unswept  floor is, and the disgrace your room is in. You hope Lucy won't be able to see your room or whatever. You guess that the application somehow works through a webcam or whatever, so she can pretend to impose on your reality with chuckle-worthy items and otherwise lulzy doohickies.

Regardless, you plop down on your unmade bed and wait, worrying once again. You know your stepfather is standing outside your door, so you hope you don't end up alerting him about the fact you're on the internet.

==> Romp around your room, making funny noise.

Why the heck would you do that? There's serious business to be done. Your server disc has finished loading and you see a boy laying on his bed. What so you do?

==> Poke him of course.

You gently tap the boys head. Making sure that everything is in check. This must be Cael. You peek around his room. Not much going on here. You yourself decide that you should examine your room. You love the beach so you painted the top half a light blue and the bottom half a sandy color. Your bed has an intricate orange and white pattern on it, and you have several beach items hanging from your wall. You had a boat bookshelf filled with books of the fantasy genre.

==> Quickly pester Cael

You open up a window for pestering your chum.

WO: {boop!}
WO: {that was me booping your head!}
WO: {obviously, hehe}

==> React to being touched by an invisible demon/goddamn ghost

You jump on top of your unmade bed, effectively breaking it. Considering your bed consisted of a board  with legs holding up a mattress, it made quite a large snap.

CAEL: Shit!

You yell. Welp. So much for remaining silent, you grumble. But the fact that your stepfather is going to burst into your room, pretending he was just walking by was the least of your issues. There's a goddamn ghost in your room.

==> Notice that one of your chums has been pestering you

You don't. There's a goddamn ghost in your room.

You casually throw your comforter over your broken bed and look for something to defend yourself with, while stifling whimpers. Well, not really. You're actually a little surprised that there's a damn ghost in your room. You're sort of excited, actually.

I mean hey, it's a ghost. That's cool, you know?

==> Answer AV
WO: {i booped his head, and he's freaking out.}
WO: {he's strange, but he is pretty fun to watch!}
WO: {:)}

==> Facepalm x2 combo

You FACEPALM x2 COMBO. Why wouldn't the kid just answer you? You sigh. Whatever, maybe you should like deploy something in his room to let him know it's just you. The smallest item to you looks like the Cruxtruder. You deploy it in the very center of the room. A bit of dust flies up. Did he never clean his room? You shudder at what could be growing in the dark corners of his room.

==> Continually pester Cael

WO: {cael, stop being a silly-ass and answer me!}
WO: {seriously, it was just me.}
WO: {don't gotta freak out on me.}

==> Engage the now visible demon/goddamn ghost in combat!

Sadly, your reaction to the demon/ghost/robot suddenly appearing in your room caused you to throw your aluminum bat at it. Of course, given the fact you have terrible, terrible aim that the dust clouded your vision, your bat missed its target.

Simultaneously, your stepfather entered the room to see what all of the hullabaloo was. This was an unfortunate mistake, as now your dear, concerned stepfather was given a face full of dust and your aluminum bat in his face, knocking him unconscious.

==> Make note of how totally grounded you are

You do so, while slumping down into a corner of your room. It is then that you finally notice that a chum has been pestering you! They're going to have to wait, because you're sort of fighting a damn demon ghost robot machinery thing. Why the hell do they want to play this stupid Minecraft mod anyway?

Jesus you need a Dr. Pepper.

==>Answer WO.

AV: {Aare you messing with the poor boy's head?}
AV: {Classic prank. Nice.}

You realize that Lucy is busy deploying things in Cael's room, so you decide to help her out with her Cruxtruder. You try to turn the handle, but find that you can't with your cursor. Maybe you can just break it open.

==>Break it open.

You take a large book off of Lucy's bookshelf and whack the Cruxtruder open.

==> Giggle at the boys antics.

You do this. You continue untill you hear a hefty tome hit a hard metal surface. You whip your head around to see a gray-blue CRUXITE DOWEL peeping out of the Cruxtruder. You moan. You don't like that color, seeing as how its the color of your eyes. So lame and boring. It's time to work on deploying the rest of the gear in Cael's house.

==> Deploy Alchemiter, Punch Designix, and Pre-punched Card.

You do this as well. All of the deployments (excpet for the card, which you place on Cael's head. He;s got to know it's you by now. You don't care at the moment.) send tremors through the house. Oh geez, you didn't mean to. You pick up his knocked out STEPDAD and gently put him on the broken bed. At least make him comfy while he's sleeping.

==> Don't forget to answer AV.

WO: {i'm not really meaning to.}
WO: {oh dear :(}
WO: {he hit his stepdad in the head with a bat!}
WO: {my fault i guess. oh, and what do i do with that dowel thingy?}

==>Answer WO.

AV: {Ooh my.}
AV: {II believe you are supposed to take that and the pre-punched card and put them in the Ttotem Llathe. IIt will carve the dowel into a new shape, which you then put in the Aalchemiter.}
AV: {Aand here is the pre-punched card.}

==>Give her the card.

You drag the card over and set it by her feet.

==>Take a moment to admire your placement skills.

You take a moment to admire your placement of the devices. Everything is nice and organized, just how you like it. And also done in a timely manner, also just how you like it.

==> Bend down and get the card.

You bend down and get the card. There are squares punched out in a weird, random pattern. The image, pre-punched, was hard to tell. It was either a balloon or a quill. You wonder what Lulu thinks of you and your room.Ah, there's no time for that. You climb up on the Cruxtruder and wiggle the CRUXITE DOWEL out of the Cruxtruder. You wander around and find what you guess is the Totem Lathe. You gently place the DOWEL between two spindles. In the card goes. The chisels work away at the DOWEL.

==> Notice the countdown.

Since you are not in the same room as the Cruxtruder, you cannot take notice of the countdown.

==>Rearrange furniture to make room for Punch Designix.

While Lucy is busy with that business, you decided to rearrange the furniture in her room to clear a spot for the Punch Designix, which you will deploy soon. You move her bookshelf and her bed to make a nice little spot. You hope she won't mind the change.

==> RISE UP AND FIGHT THE EMERGING DEMON-MACHINE-GHOSTS!

You jump to your feet and run over to your bat, retrieving it.

However, as you do the demon-machine-ghosts plopped onto your floor, causing what you thought to be a minor earthquake to shake through your house.

You of course manage to stand, however the sudden emergence of some sort of card that fell on your head caused you to yelp, accidentally throwing your bat at the first machine that appeared.

You turn to your stepfather to see him FLOATING IN THE DAMN AIR, only to rest on your bed.

You turn back toward the machine that you had successfully hit with your bat to see that from it, a brown, sparkly, floaty ball had emerged.

The damn ghosts want revenge. They want revenge for hurting your stepfather, and for being a terrible, terrible person. They must be the spirits of the people who died from Cancer. My God, you deserve every bit of torture that they'll throw at you!

==> Fight back your dumb melodramatic tears and message your chum


QC: Jesus, ghosts are attacking me! I'm not even shitting you, they're the ghosts of the people that died from Cancer. They want revenge for me being a tool at the last Relay for Life!
QC: Help me, please!
QC: Wait, what do you mean it was you? What was? What the hell is going on?

You look to see on the corner of your craptop screen that your server thing must have loaded. On it, you can see some boxer dude punching a punching bag vigorously.

You wonder if you're supposed to control it or something? Is that one of your friends' characters? This mod really went the distance.

You figure you can at least admire it before the brown floaty ball of ghostlieness that frankly looks like actual human feces devours you whole with his robotic, demonic comrades.

==> Watch the chisels work their magic.

You are oddly mesmerized by the chisels. So sharp, yet so delicate.

==> Stop being distracted!

You retrieve your carved DOWEL and Pre-punched Card. They jump into your Sylladex. You take the quick stroll back to your room. Oh, things are rearranged. Oh well. It looks okay. Lulu knows what she's doing. There seems to be a timer counting down to something, and a grey-blue ball floating by you. How did you not notice this before? Silly chisels.

==> Answer Chums

WO: {yes, it was me.}
WO: {i'm surprised you haven't figured it out.}
WO: {anyways, i'm going to open your Cruxtruder (the thing in your room) and a dowel will come out.}
WO: {i'll tell you more in a moment.}
WO: {this blue-gray ball thingy is bugging me.}

==> Be the other girl.

You are now the other girl.

==>Tell chum what to do about blue-gray ball thingy.

AV: {Tthat is called a kernelsprite. Iit is basically your in-game guide. Tthat's why it's following you around.}
AV: {Iit wants you to prototype it with something.}

==>Inspect your room.

You turn around in your chair and look around your room, making sure it is in tip-top shape for when Greg is looking around in it. You notice an open book laying on your floor. No! You cannot let Greg see your room in this state! It is unbecoming of you to allow this monstrosity to go unfixed!

==>PICK. THAT. UP.

You spring out of your chair and scoop up the book. You rush to your bookcase and shove it in it's rightful spot. You quickly make sure all your books are in alphabetical order before sighing in relief.

Crisis avoided.

==> Slap your cheek

You slap your cheek. How could you have made a mistake?! Surely they would think less of you now. You are about to answer QC when AV responds.

==> Reply.

WO: {what should i put in?}
WO: {it's gotta be something that can be useful...}

==> Apologize to QC.

WO: {OH MY GOSH!!!}
WO: {i]m sorry, i didn't realize you had already opened the cruxtruder.}
WO: {i'm blushing.}
WO: {i'm feeling pretty dumb now.}

You feel really dumb.

==>Scurry back to laptop to answer chum.

You skitter back to your desk and plop back into the chair. You begin typing away.

AV: {Iit should be useful, but not TTOO useful. Yyou know what II mean?}
AV: {Wwhatever you prototype with also becomes part of the enemies in the medium, plus the boss.}

==> Continue to pester WO

QC: Wait, what? What do you mean? Everything was you? Cruxtruder? Is that the demon that summoned the exorcist ball of flashing shit?
QC: Wait, didn't Lulu mention something like that? It's gonna help us get to the Medium?
QC:Is...is this for real? Is the game literally what Lulu stated?
QC: So...these aren't demons, but machines that are going to assist my retarded ass?
QC: So...you were just manipulating my environment. And so you can see my room.
QC: And me.
QC: Shit.


==> Immediatly check to see if you are decent

You do a quick scan of yourself. Your hair is a bit greasy and unbrushed, but meh, it makes you seem more edgy you suppose. You're wearing your favorite outfit, thus you are at your most authentic level of authenticity.

Nice.

==> Feel deeply embarrassed about the state of your room

You do so, while tearing down that stupid poster and crumpling it up into a ball. You basketball shot the poster on top of your unconscious stepfather because you think it's totally funny.

Realizing that the screen that was showing the boxer-man must be Greg and his room, you chuckle, while feeling somewhat intimidated by his insanely large stature..

==> Resist the urge to partake in hilarious antics

You fail to do so, and thus begin floating a punching bag around Greg's head.

==> Ponder on what to throw in the sprite.

Well, a pillow wouldn't help you at all, although it would make your enemies soft and plush. You imagine yourself wielding a mighty broadsword, slashing through downy bodies, laughing and bathing in their blood. Er, feathers. You pick up your favorite book, The Mortal Saga: Stellar Reality. The main character was witty and smart, but also physically weak. They sounded perfect. You casually toss the novel into the sprite. It seems happy.

==> Stare at your screen.

You watch him check his appearance. You wonder if he knows that you've already scanned his room. And him. Gosh that sounds creepy.

That sprite keeps poking you. Does it want to be prototyped again? Fine. You toss in something harmless. This DIORAMA OF A BETTY CROCKER FACTORY should suffice. Time to go seek knowledge.

==> Go find your BIG BRO.

You walk into the living room, hoping to find your bro. You wanted to ask for some advice. He was always good at that. You feel a tap on your shoulder, then BAM, you're on the ground. Your BRO grins at you. Gog, can't he be normal for once?