Sburb: Omicron Session

==> Snap out of punch-based trance.

You do this, which is probably a good idea, seeing as your game had been loaded for quite a while now. You begin randomly clicking on your screen until you are able to get a view of somebody (who, through process of fistduction, you determine to be Lulu)'s room. Yes! You are the greatest!

==>Begin to flip the f--- out.

There are no punching bags in Lulu's room! You immediately start panicking, and send her a frantic message as you begin to deploy these machine thigermajigers.

FE: i am not surE iF you arE awarE oF this Fact,
FE: but thErE is a *FE*rociously tErriFying lack oF punching bags in your room=(3!
FE: wE must changE this as soon as possiblE=(3!

==>Answer FE.

AV: {II really have no need for punching bags.}
AV: {II don't punch things very often. Tthat's what II have a gun for.}

==>Take note of devices being deployed.

You look around your room as the devices drop out of nowhere. Noted. You see your precious handgun sitting dangerously close to the edge of your desk. You decide to captchalogue it before it bounces off and shoots something (possibly you). You can't believe you let yourself put it there! What a disgrace.

==> Reply to Lulu


FE: oF coursE you nEEd punching bags=(3!
FE: hErE, i will Forward you the codE(3
FE: (3(3(3
FE: how do you do that, again-(3?

==> Notice flying punching bag

You do this, and begin flailing your fists through the air, trying to punch it. It's a dream come true!

==> Strife!

You kick your BIG BRO off of you. You take out your quill from your strife specibus. Wait! He has already stolen your quill from you! The sneaky bastard. You know you're not a fighting-with-your-fists kind of gal. You quickly LASS SCAMPER from the room, sadly with out your quill, and up the stairs to your base of operations (aka your bedroom).

==> Decide to pester FE.

You begin pestering FE. Maybe he could give you tips on how to deal with your BRO with your fists.

WO: {you're good at punching and stuff right?}
WO: {could you, like, give tips or whatever so i can beat my bro when he takes my quill?}
WO: {it'd be much appreciated.}
WO: {dude, hehe!}

==> Answer WO

Unfortunately, you can't do that right now! The beeps of your Pesterchum are drowned out by your grunts as you attempt to punch the flying punching bag.

==> Have a thoughtful conversation with your sprite.

You proceed to have a thoughtful conversation with KARLY CROCKER SPRITE. She was insightful, like you had hoped, but she wrapped her useful information in useless, terribly hard riddles. And she kept talking about baking. Maybe throwing in that DIORAMA OF A BETTY CROCKER FACTORY wasn't too great of an idea on your part. You glance over at the countdown. You had about 25 minutes left. What was the countdown for?

==> Ask AV what the countdown is for.

WO: {so, all knowing mysterious server...}
WO: {what's the countdown for?}

(That's fine! Don't worry!)

==>Answer FE.

AV: {IIf you're insisting on sending me the code for a punching bag, II'll tell you how to do it.}
AV: {Ccaptchalogue a punching bag and look on the back of the card. Tthere should be a code. Jjust send me the code and II can make it if you really want me to.}

==>Answer WO.

AV: {Tthe countdown is counting down the time you have left before...}

You were hoping you wouldn't have to tell anyone about this. You had hoped that they'd all get in the Medium before the meteor hit. You guess you have to tell them sometime.

AV: {Bbefore the meteor hits your house.}

==>Work on getting yourself into the Medium.

You look around your room and quickly find the Cruxtruder. You move towards it and try to spin the wheel on the side, but you are too weak. Maybe you did need some punching bags. You don't have time to be trying to muster up all your might and turning that wheel! You have to work quickly!

==>Shoot the Cruxtruder.

That seems to be a good option. You take your trusty handgun and aim it at the Cruxtruder. With one pull of the trigger, the top blows off and two things pop out: the Cruxite Dowel and the kernelsprite.

==> Hyperventilate.

You quickly grab a brown paper bag from a drawer in your desk and hyperventilate. A METEOR WAS GOING TO CRASH INTO YOU HOUSE! As soon as you finish freaking out, you go to the Alchemiter, put the CARVED CRUXITE DOWEL onto a pedestal, and create a TRIO OF BALLOONS. Balloons? You suppose this is how you get into the Medium. You take the balloons back to your room, unaware that Lulu could see you wherever you were in the house.

==> Type stuff on the computer.

WO: {so, i made some balloons.}
WO: {which is great and all.}
WO: {am i supposed to pop them?}
WO: {and besides, shouldn't someone else go into the medium first?}
WO: {I'm a little nervous about it.}

==> Respond to both ladies

The beeps finally register over your grunts, and you turn to the computer. You quickly type out a response to both. First, to WO:

FE: i can hElp you train your Fists=(3!
FE: but maybE somE othEr timE might bE bEttEr Fit For that(3

Then to AV:
FE: vEry good! I will sEnd it ovEr=(3!

You proceed to send it.

==>Respond to WO.

AV: {II would offer to go in first, but II'd like to stay here to help the others get in.}
AV: {II seem to know the most about this game.}

It also seems that Greg sent you the code for the punching bag. You don't really know what you plan to do with the punching bag after you make it, but... you never know when you'll need a punching bag? You guess it wouldn't hurt to carry one around, so you make a mental note to make it when you get the chance.

==>Prototype kernelsprite.

With what? You look around your room for something to prototype with. How about a... no. You can't think of anything at the moment. You can't be sitting around thinking of something right now! You have to hurry and the other stuff.

==>Do the other stuff.

You pick up the Cruxite Dowel and track down your pre-punched card. You take them to the Totem Lathe and shove them in. The Totem Lathe starts carving the Cruxite Dowel.

==> Reply to FE

WO: {okay}
WO: {yeah, my timing kind of sucks.}
WO: {focus on getting lulu in safely.}

==> (WO)man up and pop the balloons.

Yes, we all see the fact that you made a pun. Hurry up!
You find a tack hold the first balloon in your hand. So sorry friend, but it must be done. You jab the balloon, causing it to loudly POP! You then pop the second. You hesitate on the third one.

==> Act like a confused moron

You have no problem doing that.
FE: safEly-(3?
FE: I do not ExpEct a gamE to bE Frought with dangEr(3
FE: am i missing somEthing-(3?

==>Hurry! To the Alchemiter!

You take the newly carved Cruxite Dowel and run to the Alchemiter. On your way there, you pass your timer. It is nearing zero. You have to hurry.

==>Make something!

You make it to the Alchemiter and put the Cruxite Dowel in it's designated spot. It makes a book.

==> Answer FE before you enter.

WO: {yes.}
WO: {this game is more dangerous than i had thought.}
WO: {time for me to go into the medium.}
WO: {keep. lulu. safe.}
WO: {bye.}

==> Pop the last balloon.

You pop the last balloon and are now in the Medium. Your house is raised high above he ground on a pillar of earth. You of course don't notice because you fell asleep and are now on Derse. You float out of your window. You haven't seen this place before. Through the other tower window you see the sleeping form of Lulu. You go in and try to wake her up to no avail.

==> Still be confused

FE: lucy-(3?
FE: lucy-(3?

Oh well, you suppose it can wait. However, it may be good for Cael to deploy the machines.

FE: hEllo, good *FE*llow=(3!
FE: do you think you could hElp mE, GrEg *FE*ndEr, out and dEploy my machinEs-(3?

A book? You know exactly to do with books. You read them. Or you smash Cruxtruders open with them, but that has already been done. You check the timer on the Cruxtruder. Three minutes left. The book isn't that large, so that should be a sufficient amount of time.

==>Read that book.

You sit on the floor right next to the Alchemiter and start reading.

(I have to go! I'll be on later tonight maybe.)

(Okay, see ya!)

==> Quit what you're doing.

You decide to do that. You fly out of the window and look down at the little black carapaces of the Dersites. They were so cute to you, you just wanted to hug them. They were wearing odd outfits, school looking outfits with Betty Crocker logos on them. Aw, how precious, one is waving at you. You wave back and smile.

==>Resist the urge to look at countdown.

You fail to resist the urge.

One and a half minutes left. You are almost done with the book. You just have one more chapter...

==> Wake up.

You wake up. You don't know how long you've been out. You notice you've entered the Medium (it's about time!). You look out of your floor-to-ceiling window. The scenery is lust like ones out of famous paintings! It makes you so happy! And... frogs? You better ask Lulu what's with the frogs.

==> Ask about the frogs.

WO: {hey, lulu, what's with the frogs?}
WO: {they're like everywhere.}
WO: {frogs are cool and everything, but i don't get it!}

You cannot answer because you are currently saving yourself and your brother form certain destruction by reading a book.

30 seconds left... last paragraph...

Done!

You are suddenly transported to a different world. The house shakes, causing a bookshelf to topple over and land on you. You are knocked out.

==> Oblige your friend's request for assistance

You set the punching bag down, and derp for a few moments. After finally figuring out how to do so, you manage to place the Cruxtruder, Punch Designx, Alchemiter, and slip a pre-punched card on top of Greg's keyboard. You feel a pang of guilt as you examine his cracked computer monitor. Half-accidentally getting him to punch his monitor was terribly, terribly awful of you.

You're just too good at being a tool.

==> Make note of the ominous timer on your Cruxtruder

You noticed this while using the machines deployed in your room as reference for Greg's machinificaiton. You can't help but feel pretty darn disturbed by it.

==> Turn the wheel on the Cruxtruder

Screw that! You'll probably funk something up. You figure the 'dowel' that Lucy mentioned she'd somehow get for you is in there, but you have no idea if the wheel will let you access it, or just funk it up even worse.

You're really good at funking shit up.

==> Message your good man Fender


QC: Good evening good sir!
QC: I dun deployed the machines for you!
QC: It's okay if you think they're ghosts, because I totally did and I checked and that's a logical reaction.
QC: No really.
QC: But yeah I don't think hitting the top of the 'Cruxtruder' is a good idea unless you want a flashy, floating orb of feces to emerge and be really, really annoying.
QC: But yeah my Cruxtruder's got this weird countdown thing going on. I think it's how much time I have until it cooks something, or some shit.
QC: Or like, explodes. Or tells me I lost, and then call me fat.
QC: I'm rambling, my apologies.

==> Punch the top of the Cruxtruder

Haha! Another challenger! Completely ignoring Cael's advice, you have been punching ALL of the punching ba- machines. But as your fist connects with the last one, you seem to create a flying circle!

==> Message Cael again

You would if you could access your keyboard! There is some card sitting on it!

==> Gently remove card

You watch in glee as the keyboard's j, h, and k keys are dislodged by your fist. Fortunately, the card is also removed! You move up a rung on your echeladder! You are now on rung "Airweight!"

==> Message QC

FE: I have ust activatEd thE macinEs(3(3(3 wit my Fists=(3!
FE: but wat was tat card for-(3?
FE: tE one you lEFt on my Eyboard(3

==> Reply to chum

QC: Oh hell, I dunno man.
QC: I just plopped down the stuff that Lucy gave me
QC: I think they're supposed to help us get into the Medium or whatever. Preferably before that timer goes off.
QC: I'm gonna message Lulu, because she'd probably know, and stuff.


==> Pester Lulu

QC: Greetings.
QC: So um, Greg and I are wondering what like...
QC: We need to do.
QC: Looooooooool
QC: I mean there's these dumb countdowns and shit, and there's a floating ball of shit.
QC: I was hoping you'd know about that?
QC: Is the ball of shit evil?
QC: Er, these are dumb questions, aren't they?
QC: ...Did I funk something up?
QC: Oh shit, I totally did. That's why you're not answering.
QC: God dammit I'm such a tool.
QC: Shit.


==> Re-pester Greg

QC: Yeah so uh, she's not answering I guess.
QC: Can you like, see her on your computer screen? You're the one who's playing Minecraft with her house, right?
QC: Is she flipping out because someone funked something up?

==> Be happy that you're safe.

Yay! You're safe! But, seriously, what's with the frogs? You have no idea. Maybe the game just wanted to be weird. You honestly don't understand the connection between art and frogs but whatever. It's time to help Cael get into the Medium. If he was lost, then everyone else would too. Bluh, you hate all of this apocalypse talk. Let's get down to business.

==> Pull the dowel out of Cael's Cruxtruder.

You point and click on the Cruxtruder top, and quickly pull out the dowel. You set it on the floor next to the Cruxtruder and type a message to him as fast as your slender fingers possibly can.

WO: {okay, so your timer is running low.}
WO: {quick! Take the dowel and card that i put on your head to the Totem Lathe.}
WO: {the one with the chisels and spindle things.}
WO: {then go put the carved dowel on the Alchemiter and alchemize your item.}
WO: {you then have to figure out what to do with your item.}
WO: {GO MAN GO!}