Monkey's Paw

Granted, but you don't get the beta in time and aren't among those that enter the Medium.

I wish for the perfect bedroom.

Granted! but since nothing is perfect, you have no bedroom now, because having no bedroom means having nothing. and nothing is the only thing perfect.

I wish to have the Strider charm

Granted. You get a cheap little necklace with Dirk and Dave pasted to the string.

I wish for everything to make sense.

Granted, suddenly everything in existence has a very definable and knowable explanation for happening. Unfortunately everything in existence already had a definable and knowable explanation, human beings just did not know them due to lack of discovery. As a result nothing happens.

I wish to be comfortably omnipotent.

Congratulations. Since no level of omnipotence is comfortable in the slightest, nothing happens.

I WISH FOR A PET FIREWORK

Granted. However, the fireworks can never be pets and it explodes in your face almost immediately.

I wish for art skills in both digital and paper art.

Granted. Somewhere in the vast, abstract items of "Digital and paper art" are you abstract skills. Fitting. Of course, you have no idea where they are, or how you would obtain them, or even use them.

I WISH I DIDN'T GET THE SAME GODDAMMED ANSWER EVERY TIME I ASKED FOR A PET FIREWORK

Granted, instead of the firework exploding in your face it merely rockets into the side of your head, killing you from severe blunt force trauma before flying off somewhere else.

I wish for this wish to not have any negative affects on me.

GRANTED, but everyone you know around you will now experience bad luck if not death.