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 Monkey's Paw

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PostSubject: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:24 pm

So, basically it goes like this: I wish for something, and you corrupt the wish. So, say I wish for immortality. You say " Granted, but you don't get eternal youth!" Then, of course, you also wish for something so the game can continue.

I wish for a rocket pack.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:45 pm

Granted, but it only lifts you an inch off the ground.

I wish for superpowers
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:02 pm

Granted. You are now a stinky, boring, generic super hero. Indestructible, laser vision, and and a random curl of hair on your forehead that reminds people of Charlie Brown.

I wish for Ahab's Crosshairs.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:56 pm

You get Ahab's Crosshairs... to your face.

I want to live a free life with no worries or consequences!

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 10:13 pm

Granted. The rest of your life takes place on the surface of the sun. You have no time to worry, because you're being roasted.

I wish for all the levels. All of them.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 10:43 pm

You climb up the levels of the echeladder like a boss, before you're crushed by all the level in a multi-level parking structure. All the parking structures.

I wish for All my ships to not be sunk DX
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 10:47 pm

They successfully not sink... they instead fly up into the heavens to join all the other godly sh- and then they crash and burn. Like fuckin' meteors or something.

I wish for this wish to not be corrupted.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Sun Oct 05, 2014 10:50 pm

Granted, your wish is not corrupted. But the Monkey's Paw strangles you in vengeance.

I wish for a million dollars.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:24 pm

You get a million regular human dollars... and then the world ends thus making it utterly useless!

I wish the Monkey's Paw wasn't so mean ;,(

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:45 pm

Granted. The monkey's paw changed the meaning of the word Mean to mean 'Bumbling and overly gentlemanly'.

I wish for a cake.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:54 pm

The cake is a lie. Even the Monkey's Paw cannot grant you that.

I wish for the next reply to exist!

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:09 pm

Granted, but it doesn't follow the thread rules.

I wish for a Magic Cue Ball.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:18 pm

It pulls a Vriska on you!

I wish Hussie would just cave and do a Squiddle Homestuck Troll-Prequel Session story arc! :P

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:23 pm

Granted, Hussie makes the new story arc. But he ends up killing everyone off, because he is a huss.

I wish to have millions of cats in my room.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:24 pm

Granted. You are now smothered by cats.

It was a good death.


I wish for more time!

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:31 pm

Granted. You have more time. But diseases and other such humanic illnesses still get you. You are not immortal.

I wish to live in the dimension that Adventure time exists.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 06, 2014 6:37 pm

Granted. Your dimension does not change, are adventure time is definitely a thing in this one.

I wish for more coughdrops.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Tue Oct 07, 2014 7:00 pm

You choke and die on them.

I too wish for more coughdrops.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Tue Oct 07, 2014 7:08 pm

Granted. But what's a cough drop without a death-rattle cough?

I wish for a pet firework.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Wed Oct 15, 2014 10:47 pm

It sues you for too much petting on the pocket rocket, you lose everything and serve jail time with very slippery soap.

I wish honey would stop being so fucking slow.

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Oct 16, 2014 6:02 am

Granted, but now it tastes like shit

EDIT: Oh, and I wish for candy or something.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Oct 16, 2014 7:10 am

Granted, but the candy tastes like farts and when you try to spit it out you choke to death.

I wish that PetStuck was a thing! Pet trolls for everyone!

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Oct 16, 2014 9:30 am

Granted; Pet trolls are literally everywhere, and everyone dies of suffocation.

I wish for a robot that does all my chores.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:48 pm

Granted, but soon the robot gains hyper intelligence after doing your homework and starts the robot uprising.

I wish for... a sandwich!

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Mon Oct 20, 2014 10:12 pm

Granted. You get a knuckle sandwich right in the kisser.

I wish for another pet firework.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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