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hereticalTophat, Sir Realism

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 Monkey's Paw

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linguisticallyInspired
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Wed Apr 15, 2015 11:38 pm

Granted. You now have a lusus, however it's a freakin' leech who does nothing but eat your food and destroy your house.

I wish for the irony of the world to disappear

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:05 am

Granted! But, ironically, this just makes everything go to shite.

I wish for more wishes.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:21 am

Granted, you can now no longer stop making wishes to the Monkey Paw.

I wish that the next person would make the wish I am making right now.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 12:22 am

Granted, your wish is now mine.

I wish that the next person would make the wish i am making right now.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:27 am

Granted, but the Monkey's Paw get annoyed with the repitive wishing and twists the space-time continuim so your wish neevr happened.

I wish I was a Troll

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:14 am

Granted! But your killed seconds later as the vast glub kills all trolls.

I wish to meet Andrew Hussie.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:42 am

Granted, buthe treats you like dirt.
I wish that Ronald McDonald was real.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:46 am

Granted! But he goes all IT on you and murders you.

I wish for eternal happiness.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:26 am

Granted, however you become an insensitive jerk who's killed a matter of seconds later.

I wish to become a first guardian

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:37 am

Granted, you become the first guardian of a universe that is randomly destroyed by Lord English, killing you instantly.

I wish to never have a wish twisted against me.
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 2:33 pm

Granted! But the monkey paw had something in its hear and couldn't hear the word NEVER. so this wish was twisted. But nothing happens

I wish i had angel like wings

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:37 pm

Granted, you have angel like wings, they do not give you the ability to fly however and they 100 feet long and whenever try are touched you feel terrible pain.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted somehow.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:52 pm

Granted, this wish is corrupted, making it doing the inverse of what it should. Corrupting a corrupting wish makes the wish to stop becoming corruped, and there so, the wish that was granted doesnt grant anything because the corruption was corrupted making it not able to corrupt itself.

I wish to have horns

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 6:58 pm

Granted, you are turned into a rhino. Unfortunately you are almost immediately hunted down by poachers who cut off your horns for their various exploits. Then you die from dysentery.

I wish to have infinite wealth.
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:30 pm

GRANTED!! you have now both sides of infity on welth. Now you have infinity welth and negative infitity welth making you the less welthy man in the universe

i wish to be a ghost (im already dead)

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:51 pm

Granted, your wish was to be a ghost but you are now only a floating head.

I wish fur purrfect and purity curls in my hair~

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 9:09 pm

Granted! But the Paw does not like puns, and turns your hair into stray cats.

I wish for a lawyer.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:33 pm

GRANTED. However, the lawyer demands way too high pay and leaves you a week later.

I wish to become a genius.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 4:18 am

Granted! you are now trapped inside a lamp

I wish i didnt hear gamzee's voice inside my head

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 5:54 am

Granted. Instead he is now standing beside you, and is crazy as fuck.

I wish for the Paw to implode.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:25 am

Granted, but John teleported in and took it to safety.

I wish for a free copy of Paper's Please.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:28 am

Granted, but it turns out to be stolen and you get arrested.

I wish to be the Knight of Space

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 9:59 am

Granted, but the session of a knight lacks the aspect. Everybody in your session is stuck in a 8 ft. x 8 ft. room.

I wish Jake and Dirk would habe a babby 2gethr.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:09 am

GRANTED!!! But They are the most ironic brats out there. Both twins enjoy gun blades, but it all turns out to be a daydream cuz sadly its not happening : I

I wish this pain in my chest would go away.

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~
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PostSubject: Re: Monkey's Paw   Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:35 am

Granted! But you have become paralyzed and cannot feel anything anymore!

I wish that friendlyJoker would stop being a complete tool. (j/k)

~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~₪~

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