Bubbly water.

A young troll stands in his room. He just finished a round of "A dashing spaceman saves his blue friend after fighting an evil zombie that is also an ancient troll" Your team lost 8709 to 7. What is this trolls name?

==> ENTER NAME


Horsecrap Urinedrinker

==> I THREW UP IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE. ENTER NAME


Agruun Caston

==> Play some ADSSHBFAFAEZTIAAAT

You cant as your screen is broken from a power shortage.

==> Connect to Trollian


[HP] HatPhysicist logged in




==> Troll friends




You open a message board.


[HP] Is uhhhhhh anyone uhhhhhhh online? I uhhhhhh am uhhhhh ready to uhhhhh boot the uhhhhh session up.

A young man stands in his room. It just so happens that today is another day like usual, where you will check your email and forums like normal. Your 16th birthday was a few months ago, but you're considered pretty young for your year group.

==> ENTER NAME

Dinguspoop Smellyturd

==> CLOSE, CLO- NO. TRY AGAIN

Onyx Summer

==> CONTINUE TO DO YOUR THING

This is an agreeable course of action. You browse through your Abraxas browser, scrolling through the various forums you post in. Seeing a particularly disagreeable comment, your eyes flash red for a small second, furiously typing, before you sigh quietly, deciding to take your mind off the internet comment warfare and introduce yourself to this metaphorical audience.

Your name is ONYX SUMMER. Between you and RUBY, you have quite a few different hobbies. Your greatest hobby is probably PLAYING COMPUTER GAMES, although you do like watching ANIME and the occasional TV SERIES. Your favorite games would have to be RPG and STRATEGY games - especially MONSTER HUNTER and LEAGUE OF LEGENDS. Anime-wise, you jump from series to series, finding stories you find interesting and reading them through.

Outside of the computing world, you enjoy COMPOSING AND CREATING MUSIC - you can play VIOLIN and GUITAR, as well as SING, but you are not very sure of your own voice, so you keep that under covers. You do hum quietly quite a lot though. Occasionally, you try your hand at other arts, but - according to yourself - AREN'T VERY GOOD AT THEM. Your eyes are slightly shadowed over, and you haven't got much sleep - but you don't really need it, you're kinda used to it.

Although you may be feeling a bit negative now, you know how to cheer yourself up - go talk to your friends on Pesterchum. Your friends... well, some of them can be a bit weird at times, talking in strange ways and with terms you don't really know, but they're cool with you.

==> Connect to Pesterchum

[UE] unstableEquinox has logged in

==> Join message board

You do so.

[UE] Greetings, Agruun. I'm here, and ready to go.

Ah, yes. The game that your small group has been planning to work through together for a while just came out. It sounds like an interesting concept, and you're excited to get into it.

==> Troll the human

You type into your laptop

[HP] Sweet! I uhhhhh will uhhhh try uhhhhh to uhhhh contact my friends.


[HP] Okay, Uhhhhh I sent uhhhhh them an uhhhhh invite. 


==> Talk with human

The humans name is onyx by the way. You met him over some ripoff of "ADSSHBFAFAEZTIAAAT" called "Halo 4". You type into the keyboard

[HP] Ill uhhhhhhh can uhhhh boot up the uhhhhhh session. We'll uhhhhh let them uhhhhhhh know when uhhhhhhh they are uhhhhhh online.


[HP] So uhhhhh whats is uhhhhhhh up?

a troll lies under a tree in the sweltering alternian sun. Lazily swatting at a tinkurbull as it buzzes around her head. It's just a regular day of shirking chores from her lusus for her.

==> ENTER NAME

BUCKET GOOSLINGER

==> NOW THATS JUST DISTASTEFUL. ENTER NAME

Zamura Pilith

==> STOP BOTHERING THAT TINKURBULL

You pause your swatting, and the tinkurbull drifts over to a low branch. It seems that it's too tired from the heat to do much else.

==> EVADE BOREDNESS.

You decide that a great way to evade boredness is to pull out your handheld device and check in to Trollian.

==> TROLL ALL THE FRIENDS

You would love to, but it's only been a short while since you created your Trollian, and you don't have any online friends.

==> MAKE FRIENDS TO TROLL

[FL] FourLegZ has logged on

==> JOIN THE NEW MESSAGE BOARD.

[FL] Hey are we Ztarting up the new ZeZZion Zoon?

==> Troll

[HP] Yep, uhhhhhh let me uhhhhhh just uhhhhhh find my uhhhhh disk. 


[HP] Uhhhh Found it!

==> Start game

[HP] Lets uhhh do this!


==> Hum a badass tune while you talk

You do so and do air guitar motions

==> Continue to pester

You'll do just that. Now, to figure out how to get this started. I wonder if I'll need to go find my disks...

[UE] So, how does this game work on startup?

[UE] I remember you talking about a server and a client, but do we need to boot it up individually?

[UE] Oh, and what order are we entering in?

==> Pester Onyx

You sit down with your laptop and pester onyx 
 
[HP] Uhhhhh Me uhhhh and then uhhhhhh Zamura thennn uhhh you


[HP] And uhhhh yes. You can uhhhh find our lobby when uhhhhhhh find it on uhhhh the server browser Under uhhhh "Bubbly Water". Uhhhh, boot it up!

==> Insert disk

You push yourself up from your desk, and head over to your computer. You push your finger over the top button, opening up... two disk drives. You sigh - the button's still linked to both at once. You take out your client and server disks, and shrug, inserting both of them - one into each of the drives.

Nothing can possibly go wrong from this.

==> Pester chums

[UE] Alright, I've inserted both disks.

[UE] Now I'm just waiting for them to pop up in my computer.

You wait, and the disks appear. You run the server disk, and a wild main menu screen appears. You click on server select, or join a server.

Spoiler:

You scroll downwards, and find 'Bubbly water'. One player is logged onto it, so you guess it's the right one.

[UE] Booting it up.

Spoiler:

Welcome to Sburb

==> Pester Onyx

I already am, brain voice.

[HP] Uhhhhh Great! uhhhhhh you found the uhhh server. I am the uhhhh host. 




==> Do things

You expand a platform on the house and drop an alchemeter

[HP] According uhhhh to the guide uhhhhh this is used to uhhhh combine uhhhh objects. uhhhh try something with it.


[HP] We can uhhh mess with uhhhh this for uhhhh a bit. At least uhhhh until Zamura joins.


[HP] Uhhh check uhhh this out.


==> Drop a toy car and plush

You do so and it makes a...

BearFormer!



[HP] Try to uhhhh make some uhhhh more uhhh useful things.

==> Insert disks

Who uses disks these days? You've already transferred sgrub to a handheld device stick because your awesome like that.

==> Fine then, insert stick.

you proceed to shove a twig you found on the ground into your device just for the heck of it.

==> NOT THAT STICK!

Whatever, brain voice, geeze, no sense of humor. Then, in a total awesome way, you plug in the device stick.

==> Let the game begin!

too bad it takes a bit to load, and that stupid tinkurbull is mocking you again, yet you must refrain from swatting at it, lest the brain voice get mad again.

[FL] Hey... ThiZ iZnt gonna have any potentially life altering effectZ... IZ it?

Loading...

Welcome to Sgrub

==> Troll messageboard

[HP] I see uhhhhh everyone uhhhh is online.


[HP] Uhhhh try to uhhhh join my uhhhh game.


[HP] Onyx uhhhh is there uhhhh I gave uhhhh an alchemeter to him.


[HP] I can uhhhh give one to Zamura and uhhh jump in. 


[HP] We can uhhhh deal with the other items


==> Do things in Zamuras house

You drop a alchemeter and, being lazy just drop a page explaining it.

==> Go into player mode

You drop your alchemeter and play around with it. You make your dream item. 



[HP] It uhhhh says here uhhhh we need a "Cruxtruder", and we need something uhhh heavy. Well uhhhh, set them up and uhhhhh message when you uhhhh do.

==> mess with this "alchemeter"

The Tinkerbull floats nearby you jump up, dusting yourself off.

==> have an intense staredown with that Tinkerbull.

You look at what you think is the Tinkerbull's eyes, but it's kind of hard to see. Wait, Tinkerbulls don't have eyes. Drat.

==> go to your hive.

You grin, before taking off at a breakneck speed across the feild, hopping over the bodies of your fallen comrades. I shall remember your sacrifices.

==> What?

You've been watching too many human war movies recently. The run is short, and soon you're back at your hive. You wave to mom and rush into your room to see that where your recuperacoon used to be, there is a gigantic platform covered in strange designs.

==> read the manual

Manuals are for people who care, and you dont! So you throw it out the window, "carefully" place a stick and a metal knuckle on it, and mash random buttons.

==> Troll Zamura

[HP] Uhhhh... You threw out the uhhhhh manual didn't you?


[HP] Uhhhh... Just uhhh... Be uhh safe? 


[HP] Idk, uhhh I got my Cruxtruder working but uhhhh there is this uhhhh timer. I want uhhh to uhhh get out of uhh here. They way how to was uhhh in the manual. Wait. Uhhhh, where did the uhhh manual end up? I uhhhh might need it uhhhh back.


==> Facepalm for being dumb.

You knew you shouldn't have given Zamura the notebook. Your facepalm goes to a faceslap and when your done your face has a red mark.

[HP] Im gonna throw uhhhh my ADSSHBFAFAEZTIAAAT poster in uhhhh this glowy uhhh orb thing.




[HP] Dont uhhh kill yourself.

==> troll Agruun

[FL] oh crud, I'll go get it, gimme a Zec.

==> retrieve that manual

You poke your head out the window, and see the manual perfectly intact! In a puddle... Of sopor slime... Dissolving.

[FL] ummmmm, yeah. The manual pulled a Humpty Dumpty, and all the Highborn's LuZi and all of hiZ ZubjuggulatorZ can't put it back together again.

[FL] Zorry bout that.

==> have a genius idea.

You kick the strange wooden knuckle off the alchemeter and replace it with a LeQo instruction book and a snapshot of the alchemeter you took with your mobile device.

[FL] hold up I'm going to try Zomething

==> mash more buttons

OHMYGOBITWORKED. Presto! A new manual is born!

==> check it

Well, it's a manual for sure, but there aren't any words in it, just a bunch of pictures. Hopefully Agruun can use it.

[HP] "Lego Sgrub: World Decemation Playset" Zamura? Uhhhhh what did you do?


==> Read instructions

You open the book, but for some reason its only pictures made of Lego! 

[HP] I uhhh think we uhhhh may need to uhhhh use a "Registry" to uhhh carve some sort of uhhhh object.


[HP] If we dont we die.


[HP] LETS UHHH GO


[HP] FASTER


[HP] SAVING LIFE, UHHHH BRB


[HP] GOOD LUCK AND SEE YOU ON THE UHHHHH-THER SIDE


==> Save your life

You run around bumping into walls throwing out a cruxite pillar in the registry. It forms the shape of a T-Box Controler. You plug it in to your alchemeter, witch for some reason has a slot for it. A holographic screen pops up. You are in some sort of area with green hills with eyes. You are a fat red man with some sort of black worm crawling across his upper lip. You play the game and reach a flag. You jump onto the top and you slide down. Pop! You wake up with a groan and stumble to your window. Ceiling fans... and... Hydrogen clouds? You need to talk with someone

[HP] Zamura? uhhhh are you alive? Uhhhh Onyx? Im uhhh in some weird place... Have you been uhhhh vaporized uhhhhh by a fiery space rock?  


[HP] Message me when uhhhh you can guys...

==> Do things

You do things, heck you are doing things right now. Be more specific

==> Do COMBINING things

Thanks for the clarification .

You open up your closet full of wrenches and pull out one, you also grab a slinky and some blue tubing.

==> Make a bendy untili-wrench

You throw them on and press the correct buttons in the correct order.


==> This is incredibly silly.

You know but you still hold mr. bendywrench up high


==> Wrench Things.


you cant wrench anything


You drop it back into the closet and watch TrollTube.


For all the pressure you think your world being decimated would be cooler. But you fell asleep, like always. You open your window and close it right away.

Your face is swelling and red and covered in frost.

Goes to show you shouldn't put your head out somewhere where a poisonous gas is its defining feature.

==> Go outside.

You are still gasping and your vision is blurry, you grab your ski mask and a pepper shaker. You drop them on your alchmeter and slide your hand across its buttons. Ding! You have a gas mask. You throw it on your face. You can breath again while you hear the head voice cracking up.

==> Explore.

You walk outside of your house, not nearing death into the ceiling fans breeze. Giant fans fly around like helicopters. All you see is hydrogen. You run back home and grab your perrier helmet. As you walk the hydrogen chills it. Nice and cold. You grab your HANDY MOBILE DEVICE and a lawn chair. You sit back on it and think this horribly poisonous gas isn't all to bad. You feel sleepy from all the chilling. No! Stay up! Guh... Stay... Awake...
You fall asleep. Hopefully your phone is on ring mode.

Wait what? I'm conscious? Why am I in this purple sphere? Woah! I'm flying! Hello little black things! Weee! Ive nit felt this good in a while! The little guys don't seem to happy.

Woah!

You wake up in a sweat. That was strange.

[HP] Uhhhh you all are uhhhh dead right? I uhhh had the uhhh strangest uhhh dream.

[FL] Nah, I'm not dead juZt yet. Ztill gotta make some cool thingZ!

==> Make cool things!

You pick up your new "wooden metal knuckles!" Super cool and environmentally thoughtful! You put your coat and some chainmail together next and bam! The "re- enforced Hoodie" is produced! Awesome!

==> put on shoes

You decide shoes are probably a good idea due to the sopor slime all around your hive from where Agruun made room for the alchemeter by throwing your recuperacoon out the window, so you take your shoes, put them on the alchemeter and look for the most awesome thing ever.

==> alchemise shoes and kitchen knife

You are now blade runner! Your shoes have knife points on the toes and are twice as comfy! But you still don't like shoes, so you throw them out the window to join the manual.

==> Troll Agruun
[FL] hey how do we avoid getting blown up? CuZ I Really waZnt planning on dying thiZ weekend.

==> Troll Zamura

[HP] Uhhhhh well uhhhhh look outside


[HP] Make uhhh a cylindrical grist thing in the uhhhh registry.


[HP] Dont you uhhhh se that uhhhhh giant uhhhhh space rock?


[HP] If uhhhh you arnt in here uhhhh soon (4 minutes) you uhhhh


[HP] Uhhhhh...


[HP] You uhhh might want to get here.


[HP] And... dont uhhh stick you head out uhhhh of your uhhh window


[HP] Troll me uhhh when you uhhhh are away from uhhhh immediate doom.

[HP] I uhhhh think uhhh onyx is already uhhh set up. He uhh might uhh just have uhhh bad connection.


[HP] Well uhhh have fun abandoning your uhhh planet and uhhh everyone you uhhh love!

==> Begin alchemical mischief

You combine your Large Axe and your JRPG Poster to form...

Spoiler:

You combine your Cool Dragon Toy and your Black Hole Poster to form...

Spoiler:

Your co-

Wait a minute, what's that on Pesterchum?

[UE] Wait, giant flaming space rocks? You mean a meteorite?

[UE] Crux - what? Wh

You start to panic, and your personality flips.

[UE] alright alright mash random buttons yeaaaa ima get to that panicking ok bai

You run towards the Cruxtruder, and take out your new Fancy Greataxe, then slam it against the top. It clangs off, and you yelp in surprise, before narrowing your red eyes and slamming it against it again, then once more.

The lid flips open, revealing a grey flashing orb spouting out nonsense. You sigh, and grab the wheel on the side, revealing... a thing. You don't know what to really call it, but you grab it. Then you see the timer. That's... not a lot of time. Looking at your pesterchum log, you kind of figure out what to do, and sprint over to the totem lathe, and take out a pre-punched card. You slam them into random slots, and it eventually sticks, forming a perfect hourglass shape.

You run towards the alche-thing, but knock your huge figurine box from off the shelf, full with its draconian toys. The weird orb thing following you swerves, but the box spills open, with random figurines falling into it. You don't have time to wait, however, as you place the totem into its slot. You randomly press buttons, sending a few objects flying out of your sylladex's Balance modus, until a pair of grey weighing scales is formed in the center, with gold coins on one side and masses in the other.

[UE] the hell do i do w/ dis

==> Troll Ruby

[HP] You do uhhhhh magic?


[HP] You uhhhh have the manual right?


[HP] You uhhhh make it an uhhhh random thing.


[HP] And uhhhh


[HP] Do uhhhhh....


[HP] Stuff?


[HP] Look out the uhhhhh window and that might uhhhh get you uhhh going

[HP] Uhhhh... Good luck!

[UE] gah fine ill see what i can do

You attempt to figure out what to do, as the timer reaches five minutes. You reach for the scales, but a blur appears in front of you, slamming you backwards. You yelp in pain, and roll across the ground, grunting as you hit the wall with your back. You shake your head, and look upwards to see Sis quickly disappear with the scales. You yell in alarm, and run forwards, trying to stop her, but she's much faster than you and quickly goes. You read the small note left behind.

'Playing a game with dangerous consequences. You win, you do what you want. I win, you explain. Balcony, now.'

I groan in frustration and a little bit of pain. Now was NOT the time for a strife...

You pick up your new, slightly less crappy axe and store it in your 2H kind as you run upstairs and towards the guest bedroom.

==> Troll Ruby.

[HP] Uhhhh....


[HP] Hello?


[HP] You uhhhh only have uhhhh like 4 minutes 


[HP] Well uhhhh.... today has uhhh been eventful. 


[HP] Try uhhh to get uhh back to me.

==> Respond to pesterchum

You don't have time! You continue through the guest bedroom and notice the open window on the way to the large balcony.

Who needs doors when you have YOUTH ROLL? You run towards the window and leap through, but your eyes widen as you clumsily hit your foot on the edge and fall flat on your face. You groan quietly, before pushing yourself up, drawing your FANCY GREATAXE from 2HKind. Sis blurs in front of you, wielding her GREATSWORD, and vanishes again, the only thing warning you of the assault the sound of the wind.

==> STRIFE

You quickly swing your axe, barely blocking the powerful blow. Even then, it sends you skidding backwards a few feet. Spinning slightly from the blow, you hold up the hilt to block a second attack. Sis rains down powerful blows onto you, before your defense weakens enough and she hits you right in the face with the flat of her blade. You yell, and fly backwards, slamming your weapon's handle into the ground to stop the movement. You slowly push yourself to your feet, shaking your head to clear it from the ringing, then charge forwards.

==> ROUND 2 - AGGRIEVE

Time to turn the tide. You swing your axe sideways in a large arc at...

At nothing. You hear the sound of displaced air, but you have nowhere near enough speed or agility to dodge the second blow, launching you forwards and practically into the wall. She blocks your movement just in time, however, pushing you to the ground and telling you to just tell her what's going on.

==> ABJURE

You tell her there's no time. She sighs, and then slowly hands you the scales. No idea where she kept those, but you tentivaly take them anyway. She tells you not to disappoint her. You give her a small grin, your eyes slowly flickering back to grey - alarming her slightly, but you thank her and run towards the timer.

00:42

That's... oh great, not good.

==> Freak the Eff out

Ain't nobody got time fo dat! You instead take a calming breath, and reopen your eyes. Calm. You are calm. NOPE! You smash as many buttons as possible, managing to create your escape tube, you pray to gob it'll work, but your'e not sure.

==> tears

You don't want everyone to die, what about alteria? What about mom? There's no time. You hope inside the cylinder and slam the door behind you. Through the little window you see, aw crud, it's that Tinkerbull again.

==> Save atleast one life
You quickly open the capsule long enough to grab the Tinkerbull out of the air. It buzzes indignantly, ungrateful bovine.

==> troll Agruun
[FL] Agruun? Yo! I think I'll be Zafe now, but if I am blown up, well, if I'm blown up then you are too Zo, never mind.