The Homestuck Cast vs Donald Trump and Hillary

The Challenge is simple. Donald Trump and Hillary vs the Homestuck crew. Tricky Dick can come along as well if you wish to up the anti, if you REALLY desire a rumble, I will consider wheeling out Old Hickory himself, but lets not jump into that right away.

The arena is twofold, so listen up. The first is a simple cage match, both parties are lowered into the arena, two men enter one man leaves. You can go either bare fisted or with weapons, but if one party has weapons so must the other. Groin and eye attacks are fair game. Simple enough.

The second arena is none other than the AMERICAN PEOPLE THEMSELVES! That's right! All contenders are given a full campaign season to promote themselves and sway the American people to their side to elect them. Who will come out in this brutal court of public opinion? Similar to above, this is a no holds bard fight, so any resource that can be utilized, from Trumps money to Vriska's god powers is a go.

Let the battle commence!  

(this is to varied a debate to have a official pol. Write your vote at the bottom of your argument)

How the hell are you going to do a fighting match or a debate without including the great Theodore Roosevelt?! Is it because he's just going to win? My top three list of winners goes

Unarmed:
Teddy
Equius
John

It is my belief that theordore is an heir of hope by the way.

Armed:
Andrew Jackson
Teddy
Either gamzee or Donald trump armed with a solid gold mech suit with some sort of power named "fist full of dollars"

Debate:
Vriska or condesce for complete domination in an election by an electoral college, or just plain mad scheme for world domination. Nixon's ghost would participate and give them mentoring and tips, and he'd be so proud. If the condesce won gamzee would probably try to murder ICP and absorb their inner juggalo essence, making him king of juggalos and king of presidents while the earth and most likely the solar system and a large chunk of the galaxy belonged to the condesce. Vriska winning would result into her becoming Donald trump and slapping her name 88,888,888 times on the planet.

In the end any of these fucking monsters winning would result in major death and power going to the central goverment. Except Andrew jackson, well, for the latter at least.

I vote Dave. He wouldn't win any of this shit because he does not give a fuck and just settles for Vice President of whoever wins.

Sorry, I did think about having Roosevelt, but I had to draw the line somewhere. There are actually quite a lot of presidents who were remarkable fighters. If I included Roosevelt why not also put up McKinley? And then why not put in Lincoln? And they why not put in George Washington?

I was sort of trying to keep it current, with Old Hickory being sort of like a final unexpected boss who everyone thought was vanquished, but has finally managed to one inch punch his way out of his coffin after all these years to rejoin proceedings.

We'll that really depends, does he have to fight unarmed, with his original cane of power and wacking, or can he use part of his coffin as his wacking cane, do his opponents heal their wounds before they fight him? Does he have a good campaign manager? These variables decide who's president!

So far it is Dave for president, because i voted even if I didn't think he'd win.

Dave for president!

For unarmed: I mostly agree, but I would put Egbert as being stronger than Equius at this point considering he has ascended to godhood and his stats have gone appropriately haywire.

Teddy would come out on top, considering he beat the shit out of the Amazon River, which is a feat usually reserved for gods, putting him firmly on level with the god tiers, but with years of experience, pain tolerance and charisma that they don't have. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pull rank here and say that he is not in the bout, reasons stated above, though I pay tribute to him with this sentiment.

All that said, I am going to have to vote for Trump as the winner of the Unarmed round. He doesn't have any fighting skills, but he has enough money to bribe me to disregard that after the fact.

For Armed: I want to say Dave since he has Excalibur, but I don't think he would willingly participate, so:

Donald Trump, (he has enough money to bribe me into voting for him here as well)
Andrew Jackson  (self explanatory)
Dirk
Vriska

Debate: Fortunately, Trump does not have enough money to bribe me into believing he could win the national debate.

Hillary: since she seems to have the media overwhelmingly on her side.
Dave: I think running for office would actually appeal to him a lot more than fighting, and we know he has it in him to be that sort of celebrity from his post scratch self.
Vriska: since she can use her light stealing powers to take away the fame and fortune of her enemy's. This cant be underestimated in the mud slinging arena.

I to am going to vote for Dave for this one, also because I think he has a chance. Excalibur confirms him as a very good statesman in the long run, though to be sure he do much better in England, America is England's closest relative, so I think some of that sword in the stone mojo would work here to.

Was there any point to this after be agreed that Dave is the best president and that theordore Roosevelt is great?

Yes, we are not the only voters active on this site.