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 Dick (Richard) Bretton

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Sir Realism
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PostSubject: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Mon Oct 02, 2017 1:33 pm

Full Name: Dick Bretton
Gender: Male
Physique (Height/Weight): 5ft 11inch/124lb's
Age: 16

Personality: Dick is a sentinel with a strong desire to reenact justice to the lands of Alternia, Derse and even Earth itself. Believing that a new combined world order is necessary to save the universe. Dick is prone to making sacrifices and despite feeling immense regret will choose to save the people rather than a personal friend. In other words Dick may be "too" selfless... to the point where he will try and kill peace figures to enact rebellions that can change the world. He thinks that while sometimes peace is an effective way to handle things at times, violence is still necessary to hold a balance of peace and violence.

One of Dick's most notable traits is that he is a serious fan of the MarbleHornets ARG, an "alternate reality game" based around the Slenderman. Despite being 16 he still believes that this was one of the best creations of the late 2000's and if anyone calls him out on the once trending and toxic fandom he will defend it in the same way John would defend Ghostbusters or Nick Cage. Even being obsessed with the now ancient creepypasta Dick will be polite if you tell him you don't appreciate it, just don't insult favorite video game: "Funny Pizza Land".

As Dick's godtier is Mage of Void, he's obligated to prevent major things from happening in the timeline. For example if someone with future importance is about to be executed by a dictator they would later overthrow it would be Dick's duty to prevent that from happening at the last possible second. In other words Dick literally IS the hero who always arrives at the last second on purpose.

Physical appearance: Dick is a tall, skinny yet broad shouldered Caucasian teen with long black/dark brown hair that falls over both his eyes covering them completely. His vision is limited through the cracks of his hair yet it doesn't seem to bother him.

Attire:
Casual: A black T-shirt with the sleeves cut off and The Observer symbol from MH scratched on it in white. He wears white cargo pants tucked into black rain boots.
Godtier: Dick wears large blue rain poncho over his his godtier outfit and hides his face with a grey motorbike helmet. He wears black rain boots and strong black butcher gloves. When in this costume he will only respond to the name Richard.


Strengths: An excellent planner in both the long term and improvisation, keeps calm under pressure, has a reasonably powerful godtier ability (can create two interconnecting portals regardless of distance and surface that can slice things if they are caught between them while closing.) and awesome music taste.
Weaknesses: Despite usually being calm if something doesn't go his way in terms of a plan or if a tragedy falls upon him he will become incredibly violent and hurtful both emotionally and physically.
Fears/Insecurities: Dick is afraid that there's no one else in the world that he can "click" with. No one he's met so far has had the same interests as him and because of this feels obligated to do the things everyone else can't do, since he can't live a normal life he's going to martyr himself for a cause.
Likes and Hobbies: The Slenderman mythos, being independent from coolkids, creepy stories, internet ARG's, Funny Pizza Land, exchanging cultural information with trolls.
Dislikes: Liars, the real world, people who say Funny Pizza Land is a bad game, people who judge him based on his interests, Jeff the Killer and the cesspool of other horrible creepy-pastas.

Handle: ObserverObservist
Typing Style: Types with precision and grammar, tends to throw in a lot of commas. When angry goes full caps and writes to purposely fill up the chatbox.
Eye color: Unknown due to his constant hair, but types in black.
Symbol: The Observer Symbol (look it up)
Guardian: An unknown figure that few have seen, apparently Dick's father.

God Tier Title: Mage of Void
Land: Land of Rain and Castles
Derse or Prospit: Derse
Strife Specibus: Batonkind (Specifically telescopic batons)

Fetch Modus: Lotto type (chooses one random item from inventory when Dick wants to remove something, however can store a large amount of things.)
Other: Dick's favorite band is "The Claypool Lenon Delirium"

10.02.2017



Last edited by Sir Realism on Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:38 pm; edited 7 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Mon Oct 02, 2017 2:56 pm

Trigger warning: Blatant descriptions of suicide.

I can spot a few issues right off the bat. If we can work through whatever problems you have you'll be approved in no time!

You'll have to add a trigger warning for attempted suicide.
You can't lose your frontal lobe by shooting yourself in the mouth. Shooting yourself in the mouth is going to kill you nine times out of ten because the back of your brain (the spot that would be hit) controls your heartbeat and respiratory systems. If you were missing your frontal lobe you'd be vegetative or paralyzed anyhow. Shooting yourself in the mouth won't damage your frontal lobe; the angles just don't work out. Modern procedures don't place metal plates in people's skulls, it's mostly things such as bone grafts or 3D printed materials. I would remove the brain damage part entirely.
You seem to be confusing personality with psychology. Personality has to do with the way people act, perceive and react. Keep those in mind going forward, and try not to add physical description parts into it.

A very important thing to know is that while roleplaying a character with extreme mental disabilities is fine, you have to be sensitive about it and understand that you will come off as extremely offensive to people who actually have disabilities like that when you do it wrong. To an inexperienced roleplayer I would advise staying away from it entirely. You would also have to add a variety of content warnings to each of your posts and this profile sheet about mental illness.
Again, I have to stress. Playing a character with mental disabilities is not only hard for those who don't share the exact things, but extremely easy to offend with.
You have to be careful of godmodding when playing an intelligent character. You have to know their limitations- They're still a 16 year old kid, they can't know everything. It's harder to play smarter people, take my word for it.
For strength and weaknesses try to think on levels of mentality, personality, and physicality. That should give you at least three. For mentality it would be things like how smart they are or what areas they know a lot or a little about, personality would be things like people skills or charisma, and physicality would be things like how agile or strong they are

Humans don't have the ability to delete parts of their own surroundings last I checked. If this stems from their god tier abilities this doesn't go in the sheet. Player sheets are created with the character in mind before they go god tier because characters don't always go god tier and they've usually grown by then. Your character would not have their god tier outfit before playing a game unless they were a time player, and then only maybe.

A guardian is ectobiologically related to someone who plays sgurb. Your guardian sounds something like a first guardian, which is fine, but they would still have an actual parent of some sort. I take it they were made using ectobiology like the first guardians, which is fine, but I would explain that in a separate guardian character sheet or in the post if you didn't want to make a whole sheet for them.

Not having a land isn't normal for a sburb session. It doesn't stop character approval because that section is optional, but you would want to OK it with the person running a session beforehand.
Portalkind is fine, but a portal isn't a physical object someone can fight with. I see where you're going with it, but maybe something like 'portalgunkind' where it would be a real weapon.
You have to have a fetch modus, human kids can't just pick shit up that's insane.

I'll say this again, sheets are made of the character before they play sburb/sgrub. Keep that in mind and try again! This is why we have the approval process, to help people with character design.

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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:17 pm

Yeah sorry about not putting in the trigger warning I thought I didn't have to considering his circumstances (I guess it's hard to say if it is suicide or not but it sure as hell looks like he is.) it's a difficult character to pull off and I figured that since he was so confusing I should meld psychology with personality because to be honest his personality is a blank slate due to how he perceives things.

As for the whole angle of the gun thing I know that's not how it works and I wanted to keep this part of his character story hidden until another character revealed it to him. But I guess I kinda have to reveal that his entire injury is just a figment of imagination since reality melds with fiction when it comes to his godtier. The medical knowledge of a 13 year old who's been stuck in SBURB for 3 years isn't that accurate and I know you can't just patch up your skull with metal but everything about Dick is purposely supposed to be off. Everything he says or does is either a fabricated memory or a lie he believes so much it becomes true.

(Lol now that I think about it this isn't the first time this confusion has happened to me. I guess spoiling stuff is mandatory when it comes to such a delicate topic)

As for Dicks Portals, eeeeh a portal gun sounds unnecessary considering his already plentiful creation power. But I understand if you need something physical so I'll change that. For the Fetch Modus... You got me on that one, didn't realize it was mandatory. I'll change it to like a pocket dimension he can keep stuff in or something. I also didn't realize you had to make the sheet pre SBURB, sorry again. I'll make the edits now.
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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:27 pm

it would be best if you stated the facts about the character and not how they perceive things. The sheet is to help other people get to know the character so they can roleplay with them properly; it doesn't help them to know what he sees, they just need to know what they're seeing.

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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:42 am

After thinking out the limited options of RP this character can be used for I realized I don messd up. I'll be making a tamer, more normal character now.
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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Tue Oct 03, 2017 4:41 pm

sounds good to me! Just remember to post here when it's no longer a WIP
But yeah, it's good that you recognized the challenge and tried for something easier- Nobody can blame you for being smart about it.

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PostSubject: Re: Dick (Richard) Bretton   Wed Oct 04, 2017 4:21 pm

Hey, you took the WIP out of the title so I'm going to assume you're done- and it looks perfect to me! Really, this is much, much better :>
You're approved for roleplay! Sorry the process took so long.

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