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 Bridging the Gap

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Thebluemage
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PostSubject: Bridging the Gap   Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:51 pm

OOC: Hey everyone! This RP is basically about portals sporadically opening between Earth and Alternia, allowing travel between them and the resulting shenanigans that would follow. It is like TJWHF but with a bit more plot behind it as the trolls and humans react to literally an entire world being opened up for them.

Bam.

Perfect shot.

Bam.

Another perfect shot.

Bam.

Less than perfect.

Eddy Singleton, a dashing young man with less-than-dashing peoples skills, turned from the shooting range behind his house, where two targets had a hole right in the center and a third had one shot veering slightly to the left.

Disgraceful.

He was calming down, shit. His aim suffered when he wasn't angry. Eddy had been angered by the...words of his peers at school, their flipant attitude towards responsibilities and incessant talk of partying instead of attending their responsibilities. It shouldn't anger him, but he just couldn't help it sometimes. Nan says he got his temper from grandpa and his mom, and thus he tried to use it constructively, help him focus. He needed to get angry again. He needed to talk to someone who was the epitome of everything he hated in teenagers before he had wholly calmed.

Pesterchum was an annoyingly retro program, but it was a classic. Reliable.

Pesterlog:
 

That should open up the gates for him to be pissed off quite effectively. Ah, thank God for Lily.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Fri Jul 29, 2016 8:15 pm

Lily was snoring away at her desk when he messaged her, snorting and lifting her head. Oh, hey, Eddy. The guy she sold Ed, Edd, and Eddy memes to. She'd crackled her knuckles and took a sip from one of the many open coke bottles infront of get gigantic PC and started to think of a response.

Pesterlog:
 

She smirked, adjusting her glasses. Lily loved this guy, but she loved fucking with him even more. She opened up Chrome, deciding to put on some music. That music being the Kill La Kill soundtrack, which she unironically listened to 24/7. How could she stand that much Blumenkranz? Only heaven knows. That nonexistant heaven thing sure did seem to know a lot.

What an obnoxious prick, man, that heaven.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Fri Jul 29, 2016 9:47 pm

Idly resting his gun against a bench covered in ammo, he felt a bit of annoyance spike through him. The way she typed was annoying, but not nearly the most annoying. Really he could forgive that. He began to pace about, looking at a small army of garden gnomes made into a replica of the Battle of Little Big Horn. He was a weird kid.

Pesterlog::
 

This conversation has been having the opposite effect so far - had he built up a resistance to teen stupidity? He needed something stronger. He needed to "get meme'd on" by this basement dweller. What was their appeal, anyway? He didn't understand, nor did he want to.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:57 pm

Oh shit dude, he wants the relevant memes. Okay, which one.. The guy with the firework up his ass, or the minion being burned on a cross? Whatever, she'll send him some later.

Pesterlog:
 

She peered out of her window from her curtains into her small backyard, some sort of RPG-like portal in the large tree grown into her fence. Make that the top of the tree. She adjusted her glasses. ".. No fucking way.." Quickly taking her phone and snapping a few pictures of it. She actually opened her window and took a selfie with it.

Pesterlog:
 

Eddy did receive the photos she took. All 6 of them. Lily grabbed her belt from off her bed, as well as a pair of shorts and sneakers. She began her descent downstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible so Asiandad wouldn't hear her. He was currently in the kitchen, cooking up some dumplings with his sick fire mixtape as she headed for the back door, sliding out quietly. She clapped her belt, before biting the end of it and beginning to head up the tree. Of course, stopping to type here and there.

Pesterlog:
 

He received more dumb selfies of her underneath the large portal-like thing, as well as pictures of her climbing. Lily really did love spamming him with selfies, and was practically documenting everything that was happening currently. It was still a long ways up, Lily plopping down on a branch and waiting for Eddy's reply. She took this time to browse /gif/, considering she might lose wifi wherever it took her. Might as well take a quick look.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:48 pm

Sitting boredly in an empty classroom, Alba Manus awaits their detention to be over. It's not like they wanted to purposefully set Jill's hair on fire, well Jill did deserve it, but still it was her fault for beginning a fight with them, also insulting their grandad, and Jill being an all around bitch in chemistry. She even warned her today in the lab that she was too close to the bunsen burner, but noooo, no one listens to the crazy genderfluid kid that knows what they are doing. And guess who got blamed for catching Jill's hair on fire, they did. even got their lighters confiscated, if they haven't they would've burnt this place to the ground.

After they stopped remembering their day the teacher watching them said a few pointless things then walked out of the room dismissing them. Immediately they got out their phone and contacted their grandad, He already knew about the situation... and he seems strangely proud? She opened up pesterlog and walked out of the classroom. Eddy's on, maybe she should talk to him, after all they seemed to be on good terms.  

Pesterlog:
 


They walked out of the school and into their grandad's car, sitting in the front seat next to the old man was fluffy. The giant ass cat that their grandad seems obsessed with. So they take a seat in the back and he drives them home, not much conversation happens on the ride home. until her Grandad spoke "You know this means, that I am going to stop letting you play with fire." He's said that so many times and never once went through with the threat, it almost sounds sarcastic at this point.

" She deserveditthat's allim saying." Their grandad laughed and kept driving home petting fluffy. They hoped to god that he won't have a stern grandfatherly talking to them later.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:16 am

Eddy frowned. To be fair, he was usually frowning. He turned around, feeling suitably annoyed by his friend - yes despite how obnoxious she was with her shitposting he still considered her a friend - so naturally he was pretty cautious when she began to send him selfies of her wanting to climb a tree with a weird...thing in it, and right when he was about to get onto her for assuming he wanted pictures of her very hairy legs. He was worried she might've...like, hurt herself climbing or something. She wasn't really the most athletic girl he knew.

Pesterlog:
 

He was feeling suitably annoyed now, and was about to get back to shooting when - dear god, Alba. Christ, what did he do to deserve that? That obnoxious psychopath set some girls hair on fire today. Her hair was on fire. Jill would live with those burns for the rest of her life, likely!

She was exactly what he needed right now.


Pesterlog:
 

He hated his school.
----------------------------------------

The forests of Alternia were a dangerous place where only dangerous trolls survived. Balter was a prime example of that, as he ran across the vile undergrowth of his home in pursuit of a weak yellowblood.

In pursuit of some prey.

Huh, sounded bad when he said it like that, didn't it? Eh, not like anyone else would hear about that. He grinned as the lowblood slipped, falling as they ran over a branch and yelling all the way down. He had her now!

He jumped - though a more appropriate word might've been pounced, at her, eager to feel blood between his teeth. He opened his mouth and bit down, expecting troll.

What he got was air, and a painfully bright light.

"WOAH SHIT!" He yelled, suddenly falling down further than he expected and frankly all-turned around. He landed with a heavy thud, luckily only getting hit by every fucking branch on that tree and feeling his body yell out in protest of that rough treatment. He blocked out the pain though, and got on his knee, if that yellowblood realized the tables had turned it migh-

Uh.

This wasn't his forest.

He blinked, looking around for something to focus on. Alright, weird looking tree, cool. Grass and...was that the sun? Holy shit, where was he? Why wasn't he getting burnt up? He felt his heartbeat quicken and something trickling from his nose - after a brief check, he realized it was some green blood. He hissed when he poked his nose, confirmation that he had just broken it. Something to worry about later, he guessed. Right now, he needed something to punch. He looked around, left, then right, then being the smart cookie he was, looked up for any ambush predator-

"Uuh."

He looked up at something that...almost looked like a troll, except it looked really fucking weak. With those glasses trolls born with inferior optical receptors had, Well, no use ogling at how weird it looked. His hatchet fell neatly into his hand and a growl rose in his throat, more for intimidation than anything else, "The fuck're you lookin' at, soft primate-lookin' cullbait? You best back off now, or I'll, uh..."

"Oh, fuck it." He sighed, tossing the hatchet at the pale primate thing.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:34 am

She'd let out a yell and scooted out of the way, nearly falling from her perch. Her cheeks were a bright red, looking down at the new kid. "OH, YOU WANNA COME INTO MY YARD AND THROW SHIT AT ME?" She grabbed her belt, launching down off the branch. Instead of ontop of him, she landed.. Next to him. Lily wheezed, holding her side. ".. Nevermind.. Bad ide--.." Taking one look at his horns and whipping out her phone. She took as many pictures as she could before shuffling back a little ways away and standing. No normal kid had horns and.. What the fuck? His skin wasn't.. "Oh. My god. Dude, are you an alien?" Running up, poking at his horns. He certainly looked like one! Oh shit dude, she could get FAMOUS off of this guy! "Holy fuck. You've gotta be one. Are you one?" Looking at the green blood, quickly taking a few more pictures. Eddboy wasn't gonna BELIEVE this! First a portal, now some sort of alien guy? Wonder what else was up there.

"What's your name? Where are you from? What else is up there?" Taking his cheeks in both hands, pulling him down. "Tell me everything."

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 1:45 am

Oh shit, his hatchet went wide. ...Actually has he ever managed to hit anything with that thing when throwing it? If he hadn't he sure has hell didn't start tonigh-today, the sun was out, which meant it was day. And he wasn't dying. Weird.  Unsettling, even, he found himself squinting at every damn thing. When she came down at him, he naturally flipped on his heel and prepared to grab and fl-

Oh, no need. She sucked enough on her own, awesome. Before he could get a foot on her, she jumped back up and began freaking out over him like he was the most attractive thing she had ever seen. He sighed, rubbing his eyes while she freaked out. That was enough. He pushed her over, back onto the ground, and stuck a mud-covered foot on her chest. "Alright bub. The fuck is you, the fuck is this place, and I swear to the Spirits if you take one more picture of me I'll kick your ass. I'm calling the shots right now."
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:00 am

She pretty much got a nosebleed herself. "Oh my god, you are an alien thing." Just sorta staring up at him before realizing what was exactly happening. She'd lazily put a hand on his foot, grinning. "I'll only tell you if you let me up. Plus, you're getting mud on my shirt. Which isn't very nice. Or, at least, not around here it isn't."

She'd lean back, looking actually.. Relaxed. She'd take one last picture of him before quickly putting her phone away. Sticking her tongue out at him, and making some sort of neeehhhhh noise. Lily was a little shit, and she wasn't afraid to prove it. Well, actually, she kinda was. This guy looked, what, 6'something? Tall, dark, and about to kill her. Or at least beat her ass pretty bad. Whatever, she was just kinda chilling out there. "The name's Lily." Pushing up her glasses like she was in some kind of cheap anime. "Lily Colemann."

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:11 am

He didn't bristle, he didn't lash out at her, he didn't even curse when she got cheeky with him, hell, not even when she took another picture of him despite his demand.

No. He had a smooth swagger about him, as if nothing in the world could challenge him and he knew it, he rolled his shoulders, a pop ringing out in response. Then, he actually smiled, all teeth with that predatory gaze right on her, as if she was his next meal. "Guess not, sorry for the mud then. You got guts, I like that, Lily. Its nice to meet you, by the way. I'm Balter! Here, let me get my foot off you. " He practically sung, lifting his foot up and then promptly kicking her in the side of her chest. Hard. He didn't make idle threats, and he wasn't afraid to prove it. "And listen, bud, I could eat you up right now and frankly, I'm feeling pretty freaked about being stuck in a weird confusing world with annoying little shits, alright? So how about you try not to antagonize me any more than necessary, and we'll both be fucking moirails by the end of the day."
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:22 am

She rolled onto her side, coughing. "I-If you're gonna be a rude cunt, then I ain't telling you SHIT." Flinging herself up, belting him right across the face. She'd stumble a bit, regaining balance and backing the fuck up.

Lily clapped the belt a few times, "Lemme get one thing fuckin' straight you horned creep," Resting her belt on her shoulder, ready to defend herself if he came at her. "You're in MY backyard, you got that? I don't take insults too kindly here. Or anywhere, to be exact. I dunno what the fuck a moirail is, but I think it means friend or something, which I would love to be, BUT YOU CAN'T GO AROUND KICKING PEOPLE IN THE SIDE OF THE CHEST, MAN!" Rubbing the spot where he kicked her, exhaling deeply and standing up straight. "You wanna talk? Let's talk. But be aware, I'm not afraid to hit you again. Next time, it's gonna be much fuckin' harder."

His cheek stung with pain from the leather belt, and it had actually left a sort of mark. He was about to wiggity whipped even harder next time. Lily had quite the wrist for this.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:47 am

He laughed at her in the most malicious way possible, which was his normal laugh. "Sweet Spirits that is hilarious. You sure scream loud for as small as you are." He said after she was done, "Frankly, I don't care if you tell me anything. I can just find another one of you, if all your kind are so soft and-" He didn't get to finish that sentence as a fucking belt gave him a stern talking to.

He...honestly didn't expect that.

If it was possible, he laughed even harder.

"Holy shit, a guy twice your size kicks you in the fucking chest and you get up swinging? I like you Lily, you got more globes so far than most of the fucks I deal with." He reached behind his back, and when he showed his hand again there was a wicked hatchet in it, though this one had a wooden head instead of the crude iron he had used before. "I'd love to talk, Lily, and I'd love for you to try to hit me. This your backyard? Cause I think its mine, now. You gonna try and prove otherwise, or you gonna be a little bitch and let me take it?" With that, he leapt at her, swinging for her shoulder. He showed some restraint though, testing how fast she moved and reacted.

He didn't care where he was, he was going to have some fun. His blood was still running hot from his previous chase, and the pain in his cheeks seemed to egg his aggression on even further, and you know what? He wasn't going to deny it.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:55 am

She was ready, sliding between his legs and wrapping the belt around his neck, pulling it tightly. She literally choked him just like that, suddenly pulling the belt downwards, forcing him down to her level with his back to her still. "I don't want to have to do this, Balter. I just hope you know that." She pulled it even tighter around his throat, her grip strong on the belt. "I'm giving you the option right now. Quit it and be civil with me, or death. Seeing how you responded just now, I'd say you'd rather die than be reasonable. Don't you think?" Peering at him from over his shoulder, smiling.

"I will tell you everything you want to know if you stop this now." She'd loosen the belt a bit, giving him just enough room to sort of breathe. It was still tight enough to cut off air flow completely if she really wanted to, but Lily was actually being merciful for once. She knew he was confused and didn't know where the fuck he was. That's the only reason why she was giving him a choice.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:58 am

"... to him. I perſonally find that theory to be complete and utter mudbeaſtwaſh. It is of no ſurprise to me either that this fool belieues there to be 'portal-anomalies". Even more fooliſh to me is that he feels that theſe portals tend to 'fauor' being inside of trees.

Howeuer, being the troll I am, I haue decided to take on his challenge of looking for one of theſe 'portals' and diſproving him.

In all honeſty, he has offered me quite a few boondollars (few being hyperbole) if I am able to prove him wrong OR if I am able to put him at eaſe by proving it falſe.

Now, here I am on this ſure to be entertaining miſſion whether or not what he claims is true or falſe. If you aſk most, I am ſure you would find this to be quite the fooliſh expedition, but I don't belieue I am you ſo I belieue it is of no buſineſs of your own."

Augh, even though the pen has evolved to a later stage it still fails to do its job correctly without fading. It probably is best that the pen has run out. He has started rambling anyways.

As the journal entry says, The Grand Coxſwainquiſitor (as he so calls himself) is currently looking for a so-called "portal". Now, he disbelieves the idea that one exists, but he does love the idea of one existing. So he follows the map carefully to the exact tree.

Imagine. A world on the other side of the portal? One completely from his own. So much more to explore! It would be mind-boggling. After travelling the entirety of Alternia as well as both of its moons. A brand new world would give finally give him his shot to OFFICIALLY become The Grand Coxſwainquiſitor in the eyes of trollkind EVERYWHERE.

However, none of this could ever happen in a billion years. Right?

Here. Here should be the place that... that fool claims there should be a portal. What portal? I see no portal.

Columo lets out a rather audible guffaw, but mid-guffaw, his guffaw is stopped by the sudden vision of a swirling-mass.

He takes out a new pen and continues to write.

"It appears that there is indeed ſome portal-like apparition to be ſeen here. This is remarkable.

Howeuer, juſt becauſe ſomething can be ſeen does not mean that there is indeed ſomething there.

I ſhall now attempt to penetrate this alluring hole with my otherwiſe unuſed ſword.
"

He takes an old khopesh (one not often used, but used for back-up) and throws it into the portal.

He is shocked that the khopesh has disappeared into the portal. He is then confused when he hears the sound of glass shattering on the other end.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:34 am

Huh. She was faster than he thought, or he was getting slower.  Before he really knew it, she had him in a literal choke-hold. He tried to say something snappy, but he couldn't draw the breath to do it until she finally loosened it a little bit and let him talk. Time slowed down for him as he went over his options. First, he could die. Eh, he wasn't too fond of that one to be honest. He preferred living like most trolls.  He could supplicate, admit defeat and let her just...win. Be the alpha.

He leaned up and kissed her. A brief, hot, angry kiss full of spite and energy.

"You're...you're lucky I'm off my game today - and you got too cute a face to ruin, even without horns. So I'll play ball. Cut the kink shit out and we'll talk like good, civil folks. Tell you everything I know, since this is your backyard, after all." He said easing his body up and dropping the axe to further demonstrate his supplication. "I admit, you're way tougher than I expected."

------------------

Eddy's instincts roared at him, and he acted accordingly, jumping to the left as a...thing flew at him, going past where he had been and hitting one of his Nan's gnomes. "What in tarnation?" He shouts, genuinly surprised by...was that kukri? Oh! Shit, no, its a khopesh. Why.

He was being attacked!

He flipped around, grabbing the rifle at his side and aiming it at where the kopesh had come from, back against his ammo-desk and...

Was that a swirling portal. One that looked exactly the same as in Lily's picture? Oh, he was going to investigate that, and teach whoever attacked him what he thought of that.

With a yell that'd make any marine proud, he charged that portal like it was the Battle of the Bulge, gun raised to meet anything that might've been on the other side. "Now what in the hell do you think you're doing you...you...uh."

He wasn't ready to make first contact with some kind of grey-skinned, horned humanoid. He...wasn't really ready for that, honestly.

He blinked, not really sure what to make of the creature right in front of him. "Uh...sorry if this seems anticlimatic for whatever first contact this is, but, I really don't know how to react, and before I demand to know why you threw a North African sword at me, I'd like to know what you are." Eddy was honestly surprised he wasn't reacting more strongly to meeting a strange grey-skinned horned alien, but he guessed he just wasn't in the mood for that kind of shit right now, and would try his best to stay stoic and take it in stride. Like some kind of...space marine, or something.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:45 am

She'd pretty much just dropped him, stepping back and trying to wipe off her lips. "Dude, what the fuck?" Her cheeks were bright red. How the fuck was that her first kiss. That's an alien. DOES THAT EVEN COUNT? She huffed, watching him. "Yeah, you clearly aren't from here. Do you just kiss girls randomly where you're from? Like, is that just an alien thing or something?"

She was silent for a bit, before grinning. This was the perfect opportunity. "I can sorta see why. You guys probably are a little.." Poking at his horns. "horny." She tried not to laugh at her own absolutely shit joke, letting out a quiet snicker. "Okay, look, I know that was terrible. Please don't try to murder me again." .. How did that even work. Like, they went from trying to kill eachother to kissing and bad puns. What just happened? Then again, this could be a trap.. But he knew what she was capable of. She would've shown him a lot more if he didn't give in like he did.

"So. Anyways. Since we're done trying to stab and or strangle eachother, I'm open for your questions now."

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Thebluemage
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:03 am

On the ground, he gave that terribly loud howl-laugh, grabbing her vile choker belt and tossing it to the side. There, that took care of that. "Naw, naw. We do it all the time, cultural significance." He lied, wiping a humor-induced tear as he got up. He stretched out, taking a few steps away from her now that she had shown she wasn't just easy prey to toss around like they were nothing.

He still groaned at that Spirits damned pun, he'll tell you that much for sure.

"Yeah, that was pretty bad. But I guess you earned the right to shit jokes. Your property, your rules. No more killing you or yours. I guess." He sat down against the tree, looking at her again, she was a piece of work. When he first saw her, he expected some weak chattel, useful only for the resources she had to steal. Now, she was something more. An equal, almost. Someone to respect, for sure. Right now, she had lots of information he might as well sit through."Hm. What you are I guess that is a good place to start. You answer that, and I'll give you an answer as to what I am. Seems fair?" 
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 5:49 am

Columo lifts his head from writing to see a rather surprising sight. A peachy Troll with undeveloped horns?

He hears this rather odd introduction and replies, "Hmph, well, I'd aſk the ſame of you. What are you?", Columo then ponders this a bit and continues, "Neuermind that question, at ſome point one of us would have to anſwer the other. I am a trolle.". He decides to further enlighten this odd lad, "Now, if you'd like to know exactly WHO I am, I can anſwer that. My name is Columo Brumen and I am THE GRANDE COXſWAINQUIſITOR to the crowne...", no reason not to spice up the facts a little, "..., my job was to explore the entire globe and both it two moons and I haue ſucceeded in achieving in both of theſe things. In my exploration of which, I haue learned of many things and due to this, I haue grown to acheiue my role as THE GRANDE COXſWAINQUIſITOR to her lady, the empreſs.", he then thinks this out more.

"Oh, I apologiſe, my friende. Thou hauest not the knowledge of my lande and its many cuſtoms which are bound to be ſtrange to thee. The 'empreſs' I speak of is our leader, the one who allows us to liue within her land and creates ſtructure within our caſte ſyſtem as is fit to the lettere of the lawe".

"Now that this has been eſtabliſhed, I may continue upon my feats of valor and glory. I haue fought troll and beaſt alike in many lands far and wide, in jungles thin and thicke, in lands familiar and foreigne alike. I have ſaved infinite numbers of woolbeaſts and other Cattle from drowning after a fairly recent floode that has cauſed great grief to theſe lands. ſeadwellers ſuch as myſelf has had a muche ſimpler time dealing with all of theſe going-ons, but this is beſides the point, hmm", he then thinks for a second.

Columo then addresses the large-hoofbeast in the general area, "And if it iſn't too much of a bother, I would prefer to not have that pointed towards me. Howeuer, if you chooſe not to re-direct your gun, pleaſe do at leaſt redirect it to ſomewhere where it iſn't as eaſily viable to kill me. May I ſuggeſt to thee to aim at mine collapſing and expanding bladder-baſed aquatic vaſcular ſystem rather than mine chitinous windhole?", then immediately after, he says, "Oh, I apologiſe. Pleaſe do feel free to introduce thyſelf if you ſo wiſh. What's thine name and thine bloode color and thine role?"

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 6:29 am

Pesterlog:
 

They closed their phone as they arrived at the house. Their grandad and fluffy went straight inside and they decided to stay out walking around the yard. " portals huh? I wonder..." Immediately they rushed inside and upstairs to their room searching through their entire book collection. Then they found it, a satanic ritual alchemical recipe for a portal to another world, well it was more of a summoning ritual. But hey that's just semantics.

They ran around the house collecting everything that they would need to summon this thing. When they had all of the ingredients assembled they walked out to the house's back porch and drew the pentagram. They placed everything exactly how the book said everything should be placed then they cut their palm and sprinkled blood on the corners of the star, and waited. nothing happened. " Thats boring." They frowned and walked back inside collecting any salvageable materials, this was a waste of time and materials for them.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 12:44 pm

Lily sat infront of him, making sure she wasn't too close though. "Mhm. Anyways, I'm a human." She'd peer around, making sure none of her neighbors were out. "Most of us live around eachother here, and most of us would call the cops if they saw an alien in a 15 year old girl's backyard. We should try and sneak back inside, in my opinion." Looking back at him. What would he think of her messy room? Does he even know what a "room" is? Whatever. She'd probably get into even more trouble trying to hide Balter's ass in her room. "I'd love to know what you are, but we have to kinda get somewhere safe first. Also, I forgot to mention, most of us here are complete assholes. Take my friend Eddy for example, he's a prick." Laughing quietly. Oh shit, speaking of Eddy. "Also, uh, when I was up in that tree, I was actually talking to him. I hope you don't mind me just telling him that I'm a little busy right now."

Pesterlog:
 

And he did. All the pictures she had taken of Balter. She'd put her phone away again, freezing when she heard a car pull out of their driveway. A smile crept across her lips, standing. "Come on, we have the house to ourselves now." Holding out a hand to help him up.

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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:54 pm

Hmm... Where did he go wrong? He could have sworn that the wiring was good, so maybe it was the servos? But no, he had checked those already. With a sigh he pushed the arm aside, straightening and pushing away the light, sending it spinning across to the far side of the room. "Dammit, why can't I get this right? I've gone over it three times, started from scratch twice..." Glancing at the blueprints he shook his head, turning away from the workbench and wiping his forehead with a rag, he flexed his robotic arm. "Come on sis, why did you have to make these things so damn vague?" Heading for the door, he left the half-finished where it was and grabbed his phone on the way. "Haven't had any messages today. Wonder what everyone's doing?" Opening Pesterchum as he made his way to the kitchen, he scrolled his rather short friend list. "Al? Guess they got out of detention. Huh, didn't realise it was that late already. Lost track of time again." Grabbing a small bottle of OJ from his fridge, he tapped out a quick message to them.
Pesterlog:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 6:15 pm

Balter yawned, clearly bored. Except he wasn't - this was all actually extremely interesting and he felt the urge to learn more. He'd be fucked if he let her know that, though. He processed the information given to him, drawing many comfortable parallels between Earth and Alternia, though he did have a few questions to iron out. Apparently those would have to wait, the fuck was a cop?  Well, he assumed cop because cops sounded plural and since they seemed to speak the same language, a bag of dirt he was most certainly not going to get into, that just seemed like the proper word form.

Uh. Not that he was into any of that grammar stuff. Er...grammer. Yeah, see?

"Bringing me inside your hive already? Aw, guess I'm a better kisser than I thought." He shrugged, taking her hand and standing back up to look down at her. He loved being tall, he got to laugh at all the things smaller than he was and frankly a guy needed that. "Don't worry, shortstack, I'll tell you all about the great person I am and the Utopia I come from in a few minutes. Tell Prick Eddy I said hi." His cocksure attitude evaporated momentarily, lowering his stance when he heard a scuttlebuggy start up and Lily freeze. Was it an enemy? Raiders? A subbjugulat-no no they don't have those. She seemed super happy the next second though, so he guessed it was okay. "Uh, what was that all about?" He asked, gesturing towards where the sound came from. His curiosity was so great he neglected to tease her for the very compromising sentence.

...if he wasn't Balter, that is.

"Oh? Trying to get me alone so you can have me at your mercy, eh? Is everyone here a perv?" He said in an appropriately distressed manner, though his signature cocky tone shined through despite his efforts.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddy never saw his friends messages.  He was too busy holding an alien at gunpoint. An alien that talked way too God damn much. Ed considered himself a man of few words, excess chatter naturally offending his succinct sensibilities. He...honestly droned out a lot of what this alien thing said despite his attempts at the contrary.  Uh, shit. He was asking him stuff. Lesse, time to sew together the fragments of that word salad he just sat through. "Apologies sir, but common sense trumps manners in this case. The gun is staying trained where it is. At this range, it won't matter a whole lot if I hit you there or here. Hollow point rounds do their work just fine regardless. My name is Eddy Singleton, blood color red and my purpose is to defend the United States of America, under other circumstances it would be a pleasure to meet you, but right now I must pose some pertinent questions." He breathed in, then out. If he was who he said he was, that meant he was working for some kind of alien empire. If he got back and reported a portal to Earth to their Empress or whatever, then it could lead to an invasion of earth, or the unification of two species.

Frankly, it wasn't a risk he wanted to take.

"First, if what you're saying is true than I have the concern of you reporting this portal to your superiors in the Empire. I do not trust their intentions. If you plan to do that then despite my curiosity to know more about you, I will have no choice but to defend my home."  He said, practically feeling an american flag unfurling behind him and a metaphorical eagle cawing in the distance. Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light.

He had his finger on the trigger, waiting for the...trolls response. His first priority was defending his home, first contact was secondary.
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 6:40 pm

She glared up at him, exhaling. "I would never do any of the sort of thing thing you were just suggesting with the likes of you." Pulling her hand away from him once he was up. He seemed a little spooked because of the car. "Also, the sound you just heard was a car. We use those to get around quicker and stuff. I think my dad just left for work, so he shouldn't be back for a few days at the very least. To answer your other questions, no, most of us aren't perverts."

Lily guided him to the door, opening it. As soon as she did, all he'd smell was them trap dumplings, and they smelled damn good. She'd sit him down on one of the couches, walking towards the kitchen. "Hungry? Dad just made dumplings and rice or something. Hope you like it with hot sauce, because he drowns everything in that shit." She was already dishing up two plates, humming. Her dad was the best cook, aside from the hot sauce thing. Hope whatever he is aren't allergic to hot sauce or something. It'd still be pretty funny if they were.

She'd walk back out, setting a plate on Balter's lap before sitting beside him. "Okay, so, tell me about whatever you are. I'm interested."

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PostSubject: Balter eats Lily's hot dumplings   Sat Jul 30, 2016 8:46 pm

Aaah, that was the reaction he wanted. He didn't cackle or chuckle or anything like that, just smiled smugly down at her. "Sure, babe, whatever you wanna tell yourself." He scratched his absolutely filthy hair and winked at her like the charmer he was. "I know a scuttlebuggy...or, rather, car, when I hear one! I just didn't know if it belonged to an enemy or not. It belongs to your...dad? Is that some kind of lus-wait, no, you probably don't know what those are? Eh, caretaker. Is that your caretaker? And are you sure? You seemed pretty adept with that belt, a bit too eager to choke me out too." He pointed out smugly. He followed the human gal, actually relaxing now - she didn't seem like she was going to hurt him and he had no further plans against her. He stopped in the doorway, being hit by a smell he'd never encountered before. It was...odd, but not repulsive. As if in response to the suggestion of an easy meal, his stomach roared its demands. "Uh, yeah, sure. Never heard of any of that stuff before, though. Usually just eat game. What is a dumpling?" He was about to get up, used to grabbing his own food - so naturally he was surprised when she dumped a plate of free food in his lap. "Hey, alright, lets do this shit. Basically I'm a troll - we're a race of assholes with giant bulges and chips on our shoulder going off to beat up the galaxy. We're ruled by an awful, tyrannical empress who has turned the focus of our species solely towards war and despoiling. She also set up a caste system based on blood color that determines are status and a bunch of other physical and mental characteristics. I'm an olive blood, and thus sit comfortably in the middle of the bullshit caste system. If we don't fuck two people by the time the giant terrifying drones come we're executed." He said all of this as quickly as possible, and when he was done he immediately dug in and ate a "hot sauce" covered "dumpling".

What kind of name was hot sauce, anyh-

"FFFFF" He sputtered, spitting out the dumpling and covering his mouth in earnest shock. He took a moment to recover, eyes wide before he started laughing, inducing a coughing fit. "Alright, hehe, guess that is why they're called hot sauce."
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PostSubject: Re: Bridging the Gap   Sat Jul 30, 2016 9:02 pm

While bandaging the cuts they inflicted upon themselves for the purposes of summoning a potentially demonic portal, their phone buzzed. They looked down and saw that one of their friends sent them a pester. " Huh, I see he must've gotten carried away tinkering." They open up pesterlog on their phone and respond.

Pesterlog:
 

They set their phone into their pocket and walked upstairs to their room. Collecting a few hidden lighters along the way up. They get stopped by their grandad at the top of the stairs. He seems to be ready for that stern grandfatherly talking to. " Al, We need to have a talk about your recent behaviors at school Im very worried about you and your mental stability just please, listen to me" His voice becomes almost nonexistent as they tune him out, barely paying attention to whatever he is saying to them. He stops talking and they nod agreeingly, and smiles. " Good, We will figure this out together." He smiles kindly back at them then lets them go into their room.

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